Never Had The Chance
by Nariko
Summary: Nicol and Rin, though siblings, were complete opposites. But now that she's heard of his death, Rin is determined to avenge her brother...but the wheels of fate have other plans for her.
1. Chapter 1

This is my very first fanfic ever! And it's a Gundam Seed one! I hope you like it a lot because I'm putting in a lot of work and time on this story. It's about Nicol's sister. I know it's weird sounding, but hey, it's my fic and I can do what I want with it…right? Right. So here's a bit of character info:

_Name:_ Rin (I love that name!)  
_Age:_ Fourteen (a year younger than Nicol)  
_Appearance:_ A lot like Nicol, only her hair is longer, but most of the time she blow-dries it straight. Oh, yeah, and she dyed it electric blue.  
_Personality:_ To be described throughout the fic…besides, it changes a lot

That's it for now. Enjoy the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or their characters (save for my own, in other words, Rin). So there. But…I'd really really really like to own Nicol and Kira and Athrun and Cagalli and I'll just shut up now since there's nothing I can do about it…

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CHAPTER ONE: A HARSH REALITY

"I'm home, mother!" Rin called at the top ofher lungs as she swung open the door. Excitedly, she dropped down her suitcase and ran to the bottom of the first floor's staircase, waiting expectantly for a call from upstairs.

Rin had been sent away to boarding school ever since she was eight years old. Sure, she saw her parents occasionally, but six years had passed and she couldn't wait to catch up. Now that the school was closing (not enough students), Rin was free to come back home for good instead of for a three-day period every few months.

No one answered her right away. _Strange_, she thought. _Their cars are in the driveway. Maybe they didn't hear. _She tried again, louder: "Mother, I'm back!" Still no answer.

That's when Rin did a double take. There was no one playing on the piano. Normally her older brother by one year, Nicol, would be playing the piano day and night, practicing so that one day he could do a proper concert. This time only silence awaited her.

Rin never liked her brother. He was so gentle and kind-hearted, the complete opposite of her. Not that she was mean or anything, but she was hyper and daring and took lots of risks.She was also very smart. So was Nicol, but he specialized in the musical arts. Rin was better with the technology part of things.

But in the silence, she realized that this was not normal. She ran to the piano room to find no one there. She ran all around the house, looking for any signs of life besides herself. Finally, at the kitchen, she found a note on the counter. It read:

_Welcome back, Rin! Your father and I are very sad that we can't be here to greet you, but we were asked to meet with someone and we will be returning shortly. As for your Nicol, I know you'll be happy to hear this even though I don't think it was a wise decision, he has joined the war. He's been with a special team, the Le Creuset team, ever since the tragedy of Juneus 7. He actually came home to visit last weekend. You just missed him. There are some homemade brownies in the cupboard. I made them just for you. Enjoy them! We'll be back soon. Love, Mom_

Instinctively, Rin reached for the brownies in the cupboard and began munching on the delicious chocolate as she re-read the letter. Nicol joined the military? She couldn't believe this. He was too nice to do something like that. He wasn't gutsy enough either. Rin, on the other hand…she would be made for that type of thing. And, truth be told, she really wasn't that proud ofher brother for his decision. Well, she's never liked him, so why should she change?

After finishing off the brownies, Rin went over to the mailbox to check for letters. As a child, it had always been a fun game to check for mail. She hadn't done it in six years. Opening the box, she found one single letter. She inspected it carefully. _It's from the military_, she realized. _Maybe Nicol sent Mom and Dad something. _Rin returned inside and ripped open the envelope. She read the letter slowly. But with each passing second, the meaning of the words began to hither hard. Her hand shook violently, and she dropped the letter. Then she ran upstairs to Nicol's room.

Once inside the room, Rin dug through his closet and found what she was looking for: his diary. She opened it up and began scanning through pages. Finally she found the right page:

_I've made my decision. I know war isn't really my thing, but I feel like I should do my part in the war. If I could help make a difference, then no one would have to suffer anymore. Besides, if I do this, maybe Rin would be proud of me. _

Her breathing was coming in shallow gasps by now. Still, she read on, knowing that there was more:

_She might not have respected me as a brother, but I always appreciated having her for a sister. But it might be a very long time until I see her again. I'm just sorry I never had the chance to tell her how much I care about her._

At this, tears formed in her eyes. Rin slammed the book shut and threw it against the wall, screaming. "AAAHH!" Her fist hit the wall next, hard enough to make a dent in it. "AAAHH! AAAHH!" The tears came down at that moment, and she sank to the floor. "How could I have been so stupid!" she moaned, coughing and gasping and sobbing altogether. "Why couldn't I have been nice to him at least once! AAAHH! Aaahh…"

She should have known better than to be so rude to her older brother. If only she could have realized sooner…because now she'd never have the chance to tell him that despite all her actions, she still loved him deeply.

Rinhated herself for waiting until his death to realize this.


	2. Chapter 2

Yo! Thanks so much to the two people who reviewed - you know who you are, be proud. I would have rather waited till I got a few more reviews before posting up this next chapter but I'm in a really good mood. So enjoy the next chapter. But I'd really like at least five reviews before I post another chapter, so please review and let me know what you think! Thankies!

**Disclaimer**: I own no Gundam Seed character/object, save for Rin and this random guy named Commander Johnson who will appear in this chappie for the first and last time. I made him up. If for some odd reason there actually IS a Commander Johnson in the TV series, I swear it's a coincidence.

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CHAPTER TWO – A RISKY DECISION

Rin locked herself in Nicol's room. Her parents had returned by now and had found the letter of bad news on the kitchen floor. She could hear piano keys banging, and she knew her mom was crying against the piano. Her dad had discovered where she was hiding, but she would not come out. She would not leave his room until she'd found every single possession he owned in there. She felt as if she had to – as if perhaps it would help lessen the pain.

Rin had found lots of things – toys from a long time ago under the bed and hidden beneath newer things in the closet, quite a few diaries – all of which she read, to learn more about the brother she wished she had known, clothes, and a bunch of other stuff. But what Rin found the most of was piano sheets and books on how to learn piano. There was also a mini-keyboard. She read through all the books and began practicing on the mini-keyboard, keeping the volume at a bare minimum. Within a few hours she had mastered the simple pieces. Now onto a harder one.

She ended up practicing all through the night, practicing until she got it just right. Hey, she's a Coordinator. She learns fast. (A/N: The song she's playing is known to me and my friends as Nicol's piano theme – it was also the music playing in the background when Nicol dies in the TV series.) This was a song Nicol liked to play a lot, as Rin found out from reading his diary. As she played it at three o'clock in the morning, tears began to leak out, and as soon as she finished playing she flung herself onto his bed and cried herself to sleep.

Rin woke up four hours later. Not much sleep, but she didn't need any more. She never needed much sleep, and she probably never will. But now that she was refreshed, she finally realized just what it was that would lessen her pain. She unlocked the door to Nicol's room and dashed to the kitchen. There, she wrote a quick letter to her parents. Then, she left for the door. But the piano caught her eye. Rin went over to it, and without realizing what she was doing, she began to play. Halfway through the song she heard the door to her parents' room creak open. She stopped abruptly and darted out the door, with only a small knapsack to accompany her.

Truth be told, she had been away from boarding school for six months now, only she never came home right away. Instead, Rin had decided to train to be in the military. She was actually going to be assigned today, along with her trusty mobile suit, named by her the Destroyer. Which was a well-suited name, if she did say so herself. With her as its pilot, it was able to accomplish amazing things.

It had been a very risky decision, deciding to join the military. But Rin had managed to hide it from her parents for six months, and she would be able to hide it even longer. All she had written in that small note to her parents was: _I'm going away for a while. I'm sorry. Rin._ That was all she wanted to say. Hopefully they wouldn't figure it out until after her adventures were over. But now Rin had a new reason to fight. Before, she wanted to fight for the rush of action and risks, but now she had to avenge Nicol. And avenge him she would. She had it all planned. It would be her who would finally destroy the Strike, the mobile suit that killed her brother. And then maybe he'd be able to rest in peace.

A while later, Rin reached the training building, where she would find out what her first mission would be. The soldier there brought his hand up as the greeting salute, which she mimicked. "Morning," she said.

Soon after, she found Commander Johnson, who had trained her. He was big and beefy but very smart, with a large moustache. He gave the salute, which she returned. "Ready for your first mission, Rin Armafi?"

Rin nodded. "Yes, sir."

"All right, then. We were going to place you elsewhere, but in consideration of the recent events, we are transferring you to the Le Creuset team."

"Yes, sir."

"Good luck, kid."

"Thank you, sir."

As she turned to leave, he added, "Don't be too rash. Make sure you think all your actions through before you follow through with them."

She turned back to him. "Whenever haven't I?" she asked in a cheerful voice that didn't seem right. Sure, she was always cheerful, but this voice was strangely fake, as if it didn't belong to her. "Don't worry about me." With another salute, she left him.

As Rin prepared herself to depart, she couldn't help the feeling of her heart jumping through her throat and stomach. The Le Creuset team. The team Nicol had been assigned to, before the Strike killed him. This was the team that was tracking him down. It couldn't have been planned out better. This was her golden opportunity.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, before we start the next chapters, I have a few things to say:

_Jiang Mae_: Thanks for the support! I'm sorry the chapters aren't that long so far…the ones with the action in them are coming up soon and yeah, they will get longer…but there will always be some short ones. Like this one, for example.By the way, I love your user name it's so pretty - what does it mean?

_Haruka_: Well, yeah, Kira didn't mean to kill Nicol, but Rin doesn't know that now does she? .

_AnimeSisterz_: Thanks for the comments! I love Nicol so of course I had to do a fic! .

So, yeah. Oh, and of course the **disclaimer**: Um…I don't own Gundam Seed…? (Or do I? evil music plays) No, I really don't. But I wish I did! Does that count? But yeah, I only own Rin. Sadly. Oh, well, on with the fic!

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CHAPTER THREE – SUSPICIONS AND PIANO SHEETS

Rin caught up with the Le Creuset team the following day. She was welcomed onto their ship and the Destroyer was brought on board. She met her fellow teammates in the hallway that would lead her to her quarters. They were three boys. One had blond hair and purple eyes. Another had white hair with a scar running down his face. The third one had blue hair and green eyes, and a calm, slightly sad look about him. They introduced themselves as Dearka, Yzak, and Athrun.

"Well, this is a cute one," Dearka had commented before introducing himself. Rin had made no reply to that one, but she did give him a "look".

"I'm Rin," she said after they'd all introduced themselves. She didn't bother saluting, seeing as they hadn't saluted her. And she didn't say her last name. She didn't want them to recognize the last name and therefore realize her connection to their past teammate. Why she didn't want this, well, she kept those reasons to herself as well.

"So," Yzak said, "you must be pretty good for a _girl_ if you've joined the war - more importantly, been assigned here. So just how good are you?"

Rin frowned. Yzak didn't seem to be too nice, and she disliked the fact that he seemed a bit prejudiced about women and mobile suits. "My mobile suit is called the Destroyer," she replied coolly, "so that should speak for itself."

Yzak gave a satisfied "Hmph" and walked away without another word. Dearka went with him. Judging by her first impressions, Yzak was a leader and Dearka was a follower. But what about the third one, Athrun? Well, the other two's departure left her alone with him.

Athrun seemed a bit uncomfortable. He was staring at her face. More precisely, her eyes. Rin realized quickly what was going on. _He recognizes me_, she thought. Then he spoke, "Uh, you should know that I'm the current commander for the team. Le Creuset sent us on our own." His tone indicated to her that he wasn't enjoying his position of commander, and would much rather give the position over to someone else. To top that off, she sensed regret in his voice.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" she finally demanded, even though she'd promised herself to be polite instead of her usual loudmouthed self (which she hadn't been lately anyways, considering the recent events).

Athrun sighed. He seemed to be searching for the right words to say. Then he said, his voice breaking slightly, "We…there was another member of this team, before you. He…he was…"

Suddenly, Rin knew exactly what he was trying to get across, and it hit her hard. "He was killed by the Strike," she finished for him, speaking in a toneless voice and sighing a bit herself. She added, "I know, I heard already from someone else." She didn't want to tell him that she was Nicol's sister. That was informationhe didn't need to know. "And such events reflect badly on the commander, do they not?"

Athrun stared at her, surprised, and she could tell he felt terrible. That had definitely hurt his feelings. But this was a war. Commanders lost soldiers all the time. There was no need to regret decisions or let feelings get in the way here. There was no time for mistakes. At least, that's what every soldier was taught, Rin included. And yet Athrun seemed sad at the loss of a teammate, when Dearka and Yzak already seemed to havegotten over it. _He'd have to get used to deaths_, Rin thought. _There's going to be much more of them before the war ends._

Rin brushed that comment aside. "Never mind, I really don't care about the details," she told him, and left him to go to her room to lay aside her knapsack. She called over her shoulder, "And it doesn't make me think bad of you." But in her head, she was saying, _How could you allow my brother to be killed?_

Once she reached herquarters, she realized that shewas going to have to share a room with the boys, even if she was a girl. And the bed shewas assignedno doubt belonged to Nicol before her. Rin sighed. Then she noticed something sticking out from Athrun's pillow. She picked it up and stared. Piano sheets. The same ones she was carrying with her now. Puzzle pieces fit themselves together in her mind. Nicol and Athrun must have been veryclose friends. So Athrun must know her pain, too. Perhaps she could tell him who she really was…but no one else. But not right away. She wasn't ready to have that kind of a conversation just yet.

Just then, the door began to open. Rin hurriedly shoved the sheets back where they came from and leaped onto her own bed. The door opened completely and Athrun walked in. Everything looked the same as the way it was before she entered, so he shouldn't have noticed a thing wrong. But...

"Hey," he said slowly. "Everything okay? I heard some sharp movements…"

She bit her lip. But she didn't admit to doing anything. "I was going through my stuff," Rin lied. "I was looking for something. But I found it. It's all good." She gave him a smile, the kind of smile that she'd always give in that kind of situation, only Athrun didn't know that. Instead, Athrun stared in surprise. "Something wrong?" she asked, her smile fading a little.

He shook his head, giving a small, casual smile back. The kindof smile that would brush a little idea aside, like he was doing now."You have an…interesting smile." Then he left again.

Rin stared after him in surprise. People had always told her when she was still living at home that she looked exactly like Nicol – same eyes, same smile…basically they could have passed for twins. That's why she dyed her hair electric blue and straightened it. It was daring and it made her look a bit less like Nicol. But even that couldn't mask all the resemblances.

Ah, well. Athrun didn't know yet. That's what counted.

She hadn't expected so many complications.


	4. Chapter 4

The only reason I'm updating so quickly is because I'm ina really bad mood because it's been raining outside for the past few days and I haven't been able to do anything but go on the computer or watch TV or read. So I'm updating fast. But I would really like more reviews, so that I know that people are actually appreciating my work. Thanks so much Jiang Mae for the support, it makes me feel really good! And this will be a long chappie! Action time! So yeah. And also, I'm going to be following the actual happenings of the TV series from here on, just adding an extra character to the mix. But don't worry, it's still different and has pretty interesting events.

**Disclaimer**: It's sad, but true...I don't own Gundam Seed, or the series itself,or its characters, or its mobile suits (except for Rin and the Destroyer). Quick appearance by Tolle in this chappie, who I also don't own. I like Tolle though...he was sweet...anyways, I don't own anything in this story but Rin and the Destroyer. The End. Now read.

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CHAPTER FOUR – THE FIERCE BATTLE

About an hour later, the ship's pilot announced that they'd found the Archangel. "Shall we intercept them?" he asked Athrun. He nodded, a very determined look on his face.

"Today is the day the Strike goes down!" Yzak said fiercely, with much passion and anger.

"Yeah," agreed Dearka enthusiastically (though not as enthusiastically as his partner), "and he'll pay for giving you that scar."

_Weren't they forgetting something?_ Without thinking, Rin blurted out, "And for Nicol, too."

They all stared at her, Dearka and Yzak because they didn't know you knew about their previous teammate, and Athrun because he didn't know you knew his name. "How do you know about Nicol?" Dearka demanded.

Rin felt her face heating up. _Oops! Shouldn't have said that!_ "I heard about what happened," she said hurriedly, and turned away so that they couldn't see her expression. _Please, don't question me further; I have enough to think about already…_

Thankfully, the boys let that go and they all hurried to change and get into their mobile suits. Rin quickly followed, and suited up into the ZAFT red suit with the armor stuff on the chest and shoulders. Then she tied her hair into a quick, messy braid to make the helmet more comfortable against her head and so her hair didn't get in her face. Then she boarded her mobile suit.

The Destroyer was a black machine equipped with beam sabres, plenty of places to shoot from/with, lots of firepower, and very special abilities. It was built tough and was very hard to penetrate. It also came with twin swords and twin shields as well. Its speed was twice that of the Blitz, what Rin knew to be her brother's mobile suit. Plus it had three times the power, and with her skills piloting it, every shot was accurate and deadly.

Rin was amazing at predicting exactly where the enemy would move and react, so that she could quickly come up with killer strategies and techniques. She was constantly making her own adjustments on the machine to make it even better. And all this was not taught; she learned it all on her own, building up with battle experience.

"So, the Strike gave you that scar?" she said conversationally to Yzak as they waited for the go signal to launch their mobile suits.

"Yeah," he answered with an expression of utmost loathing, "and today he's gonna pay!"

"I'm sure you'll get a good shot at the Strike," she told him, "but make sure you save some of the action for me. I'm here to battle the Strike too, you know."

Yzak glared at her. "Do what you want, but mark my words, I _will_ be the one who destroys the Strike!"

Rin frowned, but didn't reply. Who did he think he was? _She_ was going to be the one who took down the Strike. It had to be her. She had to avenge Nicol. Yzak wasn't fighting for Nicol; he was fighting for himself. So him killing the Strike wouldn't avenge anything. It was up to her to make sure Nicol was avenged.

Finally they got the signal, and they all launched. Sure enough, the Archangel was dead ahead of them. The Strike was launched, and Rin hurried to engage into combat with it. It fired a beam at her, which she blocked easily with one of her shields. She then proceeded to fire back at him with one of her gun-like weapons, but he blocked it as well. The three boys were right with her, all firing at the Strike. Then a sky grasper flew out of the Archangel to help its teammate.

"I've got this one!" Dearka said, and he engaged combat with the sky grasper, luring it away from the ship and the Strike. A fierce battle with lots of shooting commenced between the two of them, with neither pilot having the clear advantage.

Rin grinned. _That one's pretty smart_, she thought. _He'll do fine on his own, and this gives the rest of us an advantage over the Strike_. But now she had to focus on defeating the Strike. This was the one who had killed Nicol. She wasn't going to let him get away with it. She and Yzak fought ferociously against him. He was exceptional, being able to fight three of them at once. And though Athrun's style wasn't as all-out as hers and Yzak's, it was still deadly all the same.

Rin and Yzak charged head-on for the Strike, both with their swords. The Strike parried Yzak with itsown swordand Rin with its shield. Rin pushed down hard against it and managed to knock the shield aside. Yzak fired a beam, and the Strike leaped above both of them. Then Athrun came down onto it with a light sabre type of thing. The Strike had hardly any time to react, but it somehow brought out its own light sabre just in time. Rin then quickly went up behind it and fired a beam. It knocked the Strike over, and gave her plenty of room to chop off one of its legs. Then Yzak came charging right in, but the Archangel fired some shooters at him.

In an attempt to help the Strike, the Archangel was shooting at Rin, Athrun, and Yzak. Yzak angrily yelled at the ship, "Stupid legged-ship! Blast you!" and shot down some of the shooters and also made a nice hit to the ship's side. Rin and Athrun countered the blasts headed their way and continued their assault on the Strike while keeping an eye out for any action from the ship.

The Strike was losing power and faring poorly against three vicious (mainly Rin and Yzak, though) attackers. It was clear that it wasn't going to last much longer. Still it fought on hard, countering any close-range attack easily. As for the long-range attacks, well, it no longer had its shield, so there wasn't much it could do besides dodge. Things were going well. Nicol was going to be avenged.

Suddenly another sky grasper appeared out of the Archangel, firing at Rin. She made an easy dodge, thinking, _such simple technique…this Natural must be young and naïve if he thinks that will stop us_. As soon as she had dodged, she fired a powerful beam. The pilot swerved out of the way just in time, but then Athrun flung his shield at it as it was still dodging. The pilot had no time to react, and the shield hit the ship dead-on, causing it to explode. A helmet flew through the air and blew to bits in the explosion.

That's when things started to get a bit out of hand. It seemed like the Strike and Athrun suddenly went crazy, firing at each other with such force and rage that Rin couldn't help but be a bit worried. They now seemed genuinely angry at each other. The Strike must have been angry for the sudden death of his teammate, and as for Athrun…Rin knew that he, too, was trying to avenge Nicol.

Yzak's machine was suddenly hit by the Archangel itself when he forgot to watch out for its attacks, and the Duel's legs were blasted off. With that, he was forced to retreat, and Rin could tell he was furious. _But that's what he gets for jumping in with only the thought of avenging the scar on his face_, she thought. _I'm fighting to avenge Nicol, but I know I have to act smart all the same._ Dearka was still battling the other sky grasper over a nearby island. She still couldn't tell which had the advantage. Athrun and the Strike were fighting so viciously that Rin wondered if Athrun would even attack her as well.

Instead, she focused on the Archangel, and single-handedly she destroyed all of its weapons, preventing it from attacking. The ship hadn't even had the chance to lay one shot on her. That's how fast and skilled she was. With a few big shots and beams to its side, setting it on fire, the Archangel then crash-landed on an island nearby.

Satisfied with her work, Rin observed Athrun's battle with the Strike. Both mobile suits were fighting ferociously and had sustained much damage. They seemed intent on utterly destroying the other. It was almost as if they were radiating bloodlust… She decided it was about time she joined it, even if the battle looked too dangerous for her. In was imperative that it be her who destroyed the Strike. Besides, she could handle it. She knew what she was doing. She'd be fine, as long as she could avenge Nicol.

Suddenly, Athrun's machine began to lose power mid-strike and it then ceased to function. Rin knew that he would not be able to finish off the Strike at this rate. It was up to her now. She charged forward, and saw Athrun leap out of his mobile suit.

"RIN!" he yelled urgently as he saw her charging, horror written all over his face. "GET AWAY!"

But it was too late. She landed a blow to the Strike's side just as Athrun's ship self-destructed. She felt everything around her crack and break down. Her helmet snapped off as she was engulfed in the explosion. She was thrown into the air, and by the time she landed, her legs giving a sickening thud beneath her, Rin was already unconscious.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everybody thanks so so much for the support! I just wanted to say that I will not update until the new chapter gets at least three reviews, just to make sure people are reading my story - it's not TOO much to ask, right? Anyways, my thanks go to:

_AnimeSisterz_: Thanks so much for reviewing! It makes me feel really great and special .  
_Shadow Fox777_: Um...I hope that's a good sign?  
_Sword of the soul_: Thanks very much for the support!

This chapter was actually originally divided into two, but when I realized how short they were I put them together to make it longer. I hope you enjoy it! Review please! .

**Disclaimer:** Though I wish I could (and I'm sure tons of other fangirls feel the same), I do not own Gundam Seed, save for my character Rin and her mobile suit the Destroyer. I tried, though...

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CHAPTER FIVE – THE PILOT OF THE STRIKE 

When Rin came to, she realized that she was lying in a bed in the outdoors. She sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes groggily. She tried to move her legs, but she couldn't. She soon realized that they were broken. That's when sharp spasms of pain burst from them, and she gave a small cry of pain.

"There's a problem!" exclaimed a robotic-sounding voice. A mechanical pink ball with strange earflaps leaped onto her bed.

"Mr. Pink! You don't want to wake her up!" a girl said softly but with a chastising tone as she scooped him up. She looked at Rin. "Oh, my, you're awake already!" She smiled kindly. She had a kind face with blue eyes and long pink hair. She wore a white and purple dress. "May I ask for your name?"

"Rin. Who are you?" Rin asked her. "And where am I?"

"My name is Lacus," she answered. "My father is the former chairman of the PLANTS. Perhaps you know who he is."

Of course she knew. So this was the daughter of Former Chairman Clyne. She sure was beautiful. And she seemed like a very gentle person. Rin had heard a lot about this girl. She was said to have an amazing voice as well. Rin also knew that she was engaged to Athrun Zala, which she realized was one of her teammates. She vaguely wondered where he was now.

Lacus continued, "And as for where you are, you're in the PLANTS, with me. You've certainly come a long way. Reverend Malkio (sp?) brought you and Kira here after that terrible fight. He found you both lying unconscious in his prayer garden."

Rin looked around. Sure enough, there was another bed not too far off, and a boy with brown hair lay sleeping in it. "But – who's Kira?"

Lacus smiled. "Don't you know? Kira is the pilot of the Strike. He's a Coordinator, just like you are."

Rin gasped at the word "Strike." The pilot of the Strike was here! And he had survived! She hadn't been able to kill him after all. She just got caught up in Athrun's last-ditch effort. Then she started shaking madly.

"What's wrong?" Lacus asked, concerned.

Rin gasped out the words: "The Strike – he killed – my brother!"

Lacus looked both surprised and sad. "Kira…killed your brother?" she said softly. "I'm sorry to hear that, Rin."

"That's all?" Rin cried. "He's a murderer! He killed my brother! He's on the other side! And yet you willingly give him shelter?"

Lacus looked indeed sad. "I am truly sorry," she said. "But Kira saved me when I was trapped in space. He took me on board the Archangel, and treated me very kindly. He even went against his ship's orders to return me to Athrun. It's my turn to help Kira now. And as for your brother… Kira spoke with me a lot while I was on their ship. He hates war, and he hates fighting. He doesn't try to kill people. He just wants to protect his friends, a noble cause."

"But that doesn't amount to the fact that he DID kill someone!" Rin yelled, tears stinging her eyes.

Lacus looked at the floor. "I know I probably can't say anything to change your opinion, Rin, but Kira truly is a good person, and I'm sure that he never meant for something like this to happen."

"Well, it did," Rin snapped. "He deserves to be dead for all he's done."

"I hope you truly didn't mean that," a man said, walking in. "I'm sure, in time, you'll see things more clearly. Lacus, your father would like to see you now."

"Yes, Reverend Malkio," Lacus answered. With a small smile in Rin's direction, she left with the reverend, leaving Rin to her tears and thoughts.

* * *

Time passed, and finally, Rin witnessed the day when Kira, the so-called Coordinator pilot of the Strike, awoke. Of course, her legs still being broken, she had to remain in her bed, but she saw what happened, though she didn't hear everything that was said. What she saw, however, was the pilot waking up, and suddenly sat up, shaking and crying, his fists clenched. Lacus moved over to him to comfort him. Rin glared in her direction even though she couldn't see her. Rin hated that Lacus was helping an enemy. And in her condition, there was nothing much she could do about it. 

According to Reverend Malkio, it was going to take about five days for Rin's wounds to heal, which was terrific, considering the damage she received to her legs. But she was a Coordinator, after all, and therefore she healed much faster than regular humans. This feat of hers really got her thinking about the scar Yzak had on his face. Coordinators' wounds could be healed immensely quickly, and yet he still had the scar…Rin supposed it was there to serve as a reminder.

It was going to take longer than she'd hoped, but soon enough, she'd be able to walk again. She couldn't wait for that day, because then she'd be able to go and confront the pilot of the Strike. However, he ended up healing much faster than her, and two days after he awoke, he was walking again. Rin was filled with a burning envy, and this only made her want to heal even more.

Finally, on the fifth night, when everyone else was inside sleeping, Rin took her first steps. Actually, she wasn't supposed to try walking until the next morning, but she couldn't wait. This was the perfect opportunity for her to take action. The first steps were wobbly, and she nearly fell over, but her determination allowed her to keep going. Then she slipped her dagger out of her pocket, and holding it out in front of her, she began her slow but steady walk to the bed of the sleeping murderer.

It took a few minutes, even though he was so close, but Rin eventually reached Kira's bedside. Because it was so dark outside, she could barely make out his features, and his face was a mere shadow. She held the knife high over his heart, watching his chest rise and fall with even breathing. This was it. This was her chance. Judging from his abilities, Rin figured she'd only get one shot before he'd wake up. She'd have to do it quick, or her movements would alert him.

Rin raised her arm a tad higher to give her a bit more force. _This is it,_ she thought with a bit of a gulp. _This is my chance to avenge Nicol. Brother, this is for you._ Her hand shook madly as she took in a deep breath to prepare herself. Deep breathing only made her hand shake even more. _God damn it, _she thought angrily at herself. Kira stirred slightly. She was giving herself away. She had to act now! _Why am I hesitating now, of all times? This is my one chance – and I'm gonna take it!_

Rin flung her arm downwards with a yell. But by the time she reached the part where his heart would be, the knife was no longer in her hands. Kira was awake, and he had somehow sat up and grabbed the knife from her hands as she was bringing it down. Now he was holding the knife at her. Again, since it was so dark, she couldn't see his face, but there was a faint glimmer in his eyes.

"I don't know what you have against me," he said, "but if you try to hurt me I'll have no choice but to retaliate." Something about his voice told Rin that he meant no harm. But that wasn't right. He was a bloody murderer.

Her legs trembled slightly, but she ignored them. "I'll tell you what I have against you," she said, her whole body now shaking with anger. "You –" her voice shook madly "– you killed my brother!" She tried to punch him, but he easily blocked her fist.

Kira's voice suddenly grew quiet, a tad more gentle. "Was he…the pilot of the Blitz?" he asked.

Rin gave a small gasp. So he somehow knew exactly what she was talking about. But she couldn't let him get to her. He was an enemy. "He was fifteen!" she raged at Kira, trying to throw more punches, but he blocked them all and then raised the knife. "He was gentle and kind and his passion was for piano!" Tears were coming down again. Ever since she'd heard of Nicol's death, Rin had suddenly become much more emotional. But that was part of any grieving process. "He just wanted to protect the people he cared about! And you – and you –!" She broke off, sobbing.

Tears seemed to be forming in Kira's eyes as she spoke. Rin stared at him, her vision blurring because of her own tears. "I'm sorry!" he said, and he had an almost pleading tone. "It was an accident! I never meant to hit his control booth!"

"And why should I believe that?" she yelled, now pulling a gun now from her belt and pointing it directly at his heart.

The next series of events happened so quickly after the other that it was almost as if they hadn't happened at all. Rin pressed down on the trigger as Kira threw the knife, knocking it out of her hands before a shot could come out, and her legs gave way beneath her and she fell to the ground, hitting her head hard. Her vision blurred completely, and a lot of things went blank. Except she still remembered what her mission was.

Rin should have known not to waste her strength like that. Her legs needed time. She wasn't supposed to walk on them as if nothing had happened, but she'd been so caught up in her revenge…and now all her weapons were out of reach. She had failed.

The boy got out of his bed, then bent down and picked her up. She gave a cry of protest, and tried to punch her way out of his arms, but he took every blow as if it didn't even hurt, and she gave up. He brought her back to her bed and gently lay her down on the mattress.

"What the hell was that for?" Rin demanded sharply, but in a much calmer voice that before. The tears had stopped coming, and the mattress felt soothing. Her head pounded, making it slightly hard for her to concentrate.

He said nothing as he left her bedside. But then again, she could have sworn she heard him say, "Sorry."


	6. Chapter 6

Hey everybody...I decided to post a new chapter because I was really impatient. But next time I won't be. Please please PLEASE review! I want at least three on the previous chapter before I post a new one! If you're an author, I'm sure you understand how I feel when it comes to reviews. Thanks in advance! .

**Disclaimer**: I do NOT own Gundam Seed or its characters. I DO own, however, Rin, her destroyed mobile suit (the Destroyer) and a new mobile suit making its premiere in this chapter, the Harmony. So live with it! Thank you. .

* * *

CHAPTER SEVEN – SEEDs, ENEMIES, AND REVENGE

The next morning, Rin had almost completely forgotten about the night's events, probably thanks to the hit to the head she received when she stumbled. That part she remembered, and the part where Nicol's murderer – she couldn't for the life of her remember his name – brought her to her bed. But despite the kind act, she hated him anyway.

The boy left for Earth that day. According to Lacus, he was returning to help his friends in Alaska to save them from Operation Spitbreak. Rin had heard about this operation. But she had no idea that its target would be Alaska. She had assumed it would be Panama. But now, Lacus and her father would be considered traitors, and if Rin was found in their presence, it would only get her into trouble. So she returned to Earth with Reverend Malkio. On the way back, she had an interesting conversation with him.

"I saw part of the battle, you know," Reverend Malkio said to her. "You have a very good technique."

Rin didn't know what to answer to this, so she simply decided on a small nod.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up being a bearer of the SEED," he continued. "I believe you have the abilities to push yourself that far. Besides, you survived the big explosion, so you must have some special ability."

Again she was speechless. She knew what a bearer of the SEED was like. When that ability was activated, they suddenly became extraordinarily more powerful…even sometimes went berserk. Rin wondered what it would be like if she possessed the SEED, and unlocked it during a battle. Perhaps it would give her what you needed to destroy the Strike.

Finally she couldn't take her own silence any longer. She had to say something. "Reverend Malkio," she burst out, "why don't you hate him for all the people he's killed?"

He sighed. "He is a living proof of what it's like to be a bearer of the SEED. Do you remember seeing him fight so viciously against your teammate, Athrun? It's because the boys activated the powers of the SEED. When you unlock that power, you can't always fully control your actions."

Rin stared at him. "They both bear the SEED?" she asked incredulously.

He nodded. "Not only that, but they used to be best friends. But war is war, and they were both fighting against the enemy. However, a person who is on a different side than your own is not always necessarily an enemy. He could even turn out to be a great ally."

She let out a snort. "Are you trying to say that he could be an ally?" she exclaimed. "Are you crazy? He killed my brother. I can't forgive him for that!"

"Are you certain of that?" Reverend Malkio asked her calmly.

Rin nodded fervently. "There's no way. He's an enemy. And what he's done is unforgivable."

"You should know," he continued, "that Athrun will forgive him."

To be frank, she thought that his words were utterly false. "And what makes you say that?" she snapped at him.

He gave her a small smile. "I am one hundred percent certain when I say that both boys will forgive each other. When you have a thorough understanding of what you should be fighting against, it doesn't matter if they were an enemy in the past. What matters is that you now have the same goal, and the best way to achieve it is to work together."

"And you know what it is we should be fighting against?" Rin demanded.

"The best path to take is not to take one side or the other," Reverend Malkio said.

"Then what else could it be?"

"Neutrality," he answered. She stayed silent; she was too surprised to speak. He continued, "It is the most difficult path to take, but Orb has chosen to stay neutral in their attempt to have naturals and coordinators live together in peace. The Earth Alliance and ZAFT don't understand why they won't choose one side or the other, but Orb is fighting for its freedom. To stay free and preserve their future. And even if either side opposes this, Orb will stay strong. In my opinion, I think you would make an excellent soldier of Orb."

Rin said nothing. It was completely preposterous. She was a faithful supporter of ZAFT and the PLANTS, and she would always be. Besides, if she was to change sides now, there would be absolutely no way she could avenge her brother, because then she'd be on the same side as his murderer. There was no way. She wasn't about to change sides now.

But she wondered about the boy. He seemed kind enough, but he didn't hesitate when it came time to fight. Why was that? Because he was fighting to preserve the lives of those he cared about? Then again, Nicol had probably tried to destroy him in order to protect the ones _he_ cared about. So which one was right and which one was wrong? Which one was truly fighting to find a way to bring peace? _Neither of them_, Rin suddenly realized. _Nicol really did try to destroy Kira, but got destroyed by him instead. And if I try to kill him and succeed, someone who cares about him will come to destroy me. So when does this vicious circle end?_

And then the answer came to her. And when she thought this, she couldn't believe herself for it. _When someone finally finds the courage to forgive the enemy._ But that was something she knew she could never do. But maybe, just maybe, she could find the courage to fight for the proper side.

The reverend's words were starting to sink in. She had always been quick to understand. Perhaps her lust for revenge had been blinding her. But now she understood.

"You know what?" Rin told him. "You're right about Orb. They really have chosen the right path. And it's probably about time that I do as well."

* * *

Somehow, Reverend Malkio had made special preparations for Rin and she received a brand new mobile suit. This mobile suit was named the Harmony. She found the name quite corny, but hey, she'd have to deal with it. The good thing was that it was five times more powerful than the Destroyer. _The names should have been switched around_, she thought with a grin. But it was a wonderful machine nonetheless.

Rin and the reverend went to Orb to receive it, and she pledged allegiance to them. Lord Izumi was pleased when he heard of her abilities and was very kind to her.

So was his daughter, Cagalli. Cagalli had befriended her the moment she had arrived. Rin had always been quick to make friends, and this was no exception. Together they went for a walk along the beach and talked about a lot of things. Rin discovered that Athrun had survived his battle with the Strike.

"I spoke with him the first time he woke up," Cagalli told her. "He told me that he fought the Strike to avenge a friend of his. I think his name was…Nicol."

At these words, Rin felt emotions rising up in her again, and tried desperately to keep them at bay. But she felt she could trust Cagalli. "Nicol was my brother," she said softly.

Cagalli's face dropped. "I'm sorry, Rin," she said sadly. "But please tell me you're not going to try to avenge him."

Rin looked at her weirdly. "That's why I joined the war," she told her. "But as long as I'm with Orb, I doubt I can do that. Still, I'm not going to forgive him for what he's done."

"But Rin," Cagalli protested, "if all people think about is revenge, then how will this war ever come to an end? I know you must be upset, but –"

"You don't know anything about how I feel!" Rin burst out. "What would you do if your brother was killed? Wouldn't you feel the need to do something, to avenge him?"

Slowly, she answered, "No. Because as a loyal citizen of Orb, I fight only to preserve peace, not to make more war. I know revenge is wrong, and I'm not after it. What I _would_ do, however, is try my hardest to stop anyone else from being heartbroken by bringing peace!"

These words stunned Rin, and realization swept through her. Shaking, she bent over and slowly fell to her knees. "But Nicol is gone!" she cried, and tears started to come out again. "I see your point, I really do. But what about _my_ feelings? Why should I have to suffer? Why me? Why…?"

Cagalli bent down next to her. "Nicol must have been a great brother," she said softly.

"He wasn't!" Rin screamed suddenly. Cagalli stared. "I never cared for him. We were complete opposites. I never took the time to appreciate anything he did for me. And only now I realized how wrong I was. How do you think that makes me feel? To wait until his death to find that I really do love him? That I never had the chance…to tell him how I felt, that I loved him as any sibling would, and even more? He was so kind…caring…fought only because he wanted to protect the people important to him…and you know what drove him to join the war? Because he wanted me to respect him, to be proud of my older brother! For crying out loud, he loved the piano! Doesn't that tell you what kind of a guy he was? He didn't deserve to die!"

"Think about your brother, then," Cagalli said. "Would he want you to avenge him? Or would he want you to just try and make peace so that his loved ones wouldn't have to suffer? From the sounds of it, I'm sure he'd prefer if you continue on what he was trying to achieve: peace. Not revenge."

"I know, I know!" Rin sobbed. "But I can't just cast aside my feelings as if they didn't matter! I want to make him proud of me, I really do! But I don't have the strength to forgive his murderer for what he's done! I'm not that kind of person! I know Nicol was, but I'm not!"

Cagalli was having trouble finding words to comfort her. But she did manage to say this: "Well, at least give it a try. Wouldn't he prefer it if you tried and failed rather than not doing anything at all? Wouldn't he?"

Rin stopped her noisy sobbing, though the tears still came down. Cagalli had a big point. She could try to forgive. It was highly unlikely that she'd be able to let go of her current feelings, but she knew she had to try. Maybe that action in itself would help Nicol find peace, instead of her killing his murderer. Because if that's the way Nicol was, then that's the way he'd like best.

_I'll try, Nicol_, Rin promised him. _I promise I'll try. For you. And if…if I don't succeed…will you still love me?_ Even though he was not able to communicate with her, she knew what he would say. _Of course you would…listen, if you can hear me, wherever you are…I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. And also…I love you._


	7. Chapter 7

Yo! The only reason why I'm putting this chappie up before three reviews is because I'm going on vacation for two weeks and I wanted to put one more thing up before I left. So this chapter had better get at least three reviews before I get back!

To the people who reviewed:  
Sword of the soul: Thanks so much for your support! It's making me feel really good. Hope you like this chappie - it's for you for being so great!  
ShadowFox777: Do you always review like that? And is "that" a good thing?

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Seed or the characters except for Rin, the Harmony, and this random Smith dude who will make a one-chapter appearance today. That is all. On with the story!

* * *

CHAPTERSEVEN – FREEDOM AND HARMONY, SIDE BY SIDE

Rin received her first mission as a soldier of Orb not long after her arrival, and with it surprising news. The special operation ZAFT had been planning, operation Spitbreak, had failed, and almost all of the ZAFT soldiers involved in the attack on Alaska had been killed. To top that off, the Earth Alliance had even tried to sacrifice their own ship, the Archangel, during the fight, but the ship had escaped the battlefield. "How could they go so low as to kill their own people?" was her angered reaction upon hearing this, despite the fact that the Archangel had once been her enemy. But not anymore. The legged ship, now considered a runaway ship, had sustained major damage and needed help. They were currently headed for Orb territory, but they were being pursued by ZAFT. Managing to escape from Alaska was a major feat, but there was almost no way the ship would arrive safely without further backup. And so Rin was assigned to help them.

Having already taken the Harmony for a test-drive (during which everyone witnessed her phenomenal abilities), Rin was very confident that her mobile suit would get the job done, whatever it may be. Her mobile suit was mainly a light shade of blue, with a darker blue shield and other random parts of that same color, including wing-like contraptions. It was truly a phenomenal machine.

As she was preparing to board the Archangel, Cagalli arrived to see her off. "Be careful, okay?" she said. Rin nodded. "Please Rin," Cagalli added. "We've given the Archangel shelter before. I've even been aboard the ship. The crew members are all kind people. Don't let them die. Please."

Rin gave her a kind smile. "I won't let that happen," she said determinedly. "Don't worry. The ship is no longer my enemy. I'm going to help them the best I can." And in her head, she said, _It's what you would want me to do, right, Nicol? To help others. And I'm gonna do it. I'll make you proud._

She left Orb with quite a few warships, and though these ships were strong and would provide the Archangel with good protection, they were also not as fast as Rin had hoped. She wondered whether or not they'd make it in time at the speed they were going. She contacted Lieutenant Smith, who was in charge of one of the ships she was accompanying to get the necessary information.

"Lieutenant Smith, this is Rin in the Harmony, sir," she said. "Do you copy? I have a few questions to ask."

"Ah, Rin, what can I do for you? Do you need some coordinates?" he asked wisely, somehow knowing exactly what she'd wanted.

"Yes, please, sir, if it's not too much trouble," Rin answered. "I'd like to know how far from us the legged ship is and how close their pursuers are as well."

"I'm on it," he said, and moments later he had the necessary information, which he transferred to her immediately.

Rin studied the speeds of the ships and the distances between them. There were also quite a few pursuers in mobile armors, and it seemed that they would be reaching the Archangel within five minutes. To top that off, at this rate, there was no way the warships would make it in time.

"Can you speed things up at all?" Rin asked the Lt.

"Sorry, Rin, we're already going at full speed," was the answer. "What's eating you?"

"There's no way we'll make it in time, sir," she informed him. "These warships just aren't fast enough. Their pursuers are already practically on top of them."

Lieutenant Smith sighed. "I know, but there's nothing we can do about that but pray that the Archangel can hold out until we get there."

"Hmm." This got Rin thinking hard. She had already tested out the Harmony's abilities and made her own upgrades so that it would be even stronger against multiple opponents. Mobile armors, she figured, would be especially easy to get rid of. Perhaps she could…

"Lt. Smith, sir, I'm going ahead to provide the Archangel with backup," she said. "With my speed, I should be able to reach them shortly after they engage the enemy. I'm sure I can hold them off until the rest of you get there."

There was a short moment of silence, but the Lt. agreed. "Very well," he said. "Be careful."

"I will." And with that, Rin switched to full speed and zoomed towards the location of the Archangel, confidant that she would be able to provide the runaway ship with great assistance.

By the time Rin reached the Archangel five minutes later, they were already under attack by fifteen ZAFT mobile armors. Before jumping into the fray, Rin took a quick moment to analyze how things were going. The Archangel was in terrible condition – she took a rough guess that it had lost about 75 of its power thanks to all the damage it had taken – and it could barely defend itself. To make matters worse, there were only two machines helping it: an unfamiliar mobile suit and a sky grasper. She instantly recognized the sky grasper as the one Dearka had been fighting – come to think of it, she had no idea what had happened to him or Yzak, but from the looks of things, the sky grasper had definitely survived its battle. She wondered vaguely if Dearka had been shot down. And as for the mobile suit, well, she'd never seen it before, and it looked marvelous. Rin identified it as a machine called the Freedom, and with a quick analysis, she figured that it probably had a lot of the same abilities as the Harmony. They seemed to be of the same make, which would mean it would have excellent abilities. Still, it would prove hard for a natural to ward off over a dozen mobile armors.

The sky grasper was spiralling through the air and shooting beams, dodging blows from three mobile armors at once. The pilot was indeed exceptional, and inflicted more damage than it sustained, though if it got too damaged it wouldn't be able to last long. Its power levels had to be low, seeing as it was fighting in Alaska as well. With the sky grasper battling three mobile armors, it was leaving the mobile suit to defend the Archangel from the other twelve: a nearly impossible task for a natural. It seemed to be putting up quite a struggle, and the damaged Archangel was of no help to it, but it was eventually able to shoot two of the twelve down. Ten more to go. With the three the sky grasper was taking on, thirteen. Rin's analysis was complete. It was time for her to step in.

She was not a second too late, because suddenly the sky grasper found itself in a situation with no escape, and the enemy mobile armors each shot two beams at it, all which were bound to hit the control booth. Rin launched herself over there just in time to block all six beams headed its way. Then she through her shield like a boomerang, and it slid through all three of the mobile armors, causing them to explode. Then the shield came back to meet her, and she caught it. Rin marvelled at her machine's amazing techniques, though she already knew them all. This was working out even better than she was planning. "This is Rin Amarfi, soldier of Orb!" she said through the communicator to the sky grasper's pilot, as well as to the Freedom and the Archangel. "Reinforcements are on the way. They should be here soon. Until then, I'm here to protect you."

"Sounds good to me," the sky grasper pilot replied, and Rin saw his face on her screen. He was a man, unlike her, and had blond hair and a determined look to his face. He gave a carefree smile. "You sure are good, though!"

"Save the compliments and introductions for later," Rin said, business-like. "We'd better help your friend in the mobile suit."

"You got it!" And the two of them zoomed over to help the Freedom. All of the enemy mobile armors shot for the mobile suit, but Rin quickly shot a green beam that curved as it flew, knocking aside all shots going for it. Then, with some pretty cool rapid fire, Rin shot down three more mobile armors. Seven left.

The sky grasper took on two more mobile armors and succeeded in taking them down. In the meantime, Rin, along with the Freedom, fought together, covering each other's backs and taking down the mobile armors together, making short work of four of them.

"Mission accomplished," Rin said proudly to herself as she watched the ZAFT ships explode with satisfaction.

Suddenly, she heard the voice of the sky grasper's pilot: "RIN, BEHIND YOU!"

Rin turned just in time to see the last mobile armor – one she had completely forgotten was there – charging straight for her, sword ready to strike, and even though she quickly tried to bring out her shield, she knew that it would not be enough, and though her mobile suit was fast, it would not be fast enough. _This is the end…so soon?_ She shut her eyes tightly.

An explosion took place right in front of her. Then, when it cleared, the Freedom was there, having just fired a couple of beams. It had evidently blocked the shot and destroyed the last enemy. She was saved. Rin sighed in relief. But before she had time to thank the pilot for the save, it returned to the Archangel and she lost sight of it. The captain of the ship, Murrue Ramius, then invited her on board to take a break.

"There won't be a need," Rin replied to the ship, looking behind her to see just what she was looking for. "The reinforcements are here. You're all safe." And she returned to Orb with the ships and the Archangel, proud of her work. And too right she should be. She received much praise upon her arrival back at Orb.

However, one thing stuck on her mind. The pilot of the Freedom…he was extraordinary. After seeing him fight, Rin was positive that he was no natural. There was no way someone with such instincts could not be one of her kind. And his abilities could probably surpass her own. But what bothered Rin was that he had said nothing to her, that whole time that they were fighting together. She would have liked to thank him, too, but he left before she had the chance. _Oh, well_, she decided. _I'm sure we'll cross paths again. And maybe I'll be able to thank him in person._


	8. Chapter 8

You know what I just realized? I was looking over the past chapters, and realized that my technical terms suck! So I'm just apologizing right now for all those technical term errors that I've made because I've never paid a huge amount of attention to them on the show, so I don't really know what everything's called. Oh, well. If ever I need to be corrected on something, just let me know!

Now for my thank yous:  
Sword of the soul: You can say that as many times as you like. . It makes me feel great, so thank you!  
Shadow Fox777: Tee hee. I'm sure glad it's a good thing, though. . (I like happy faces) .  
ORB-01 Akatsuki and jgal: hint hint Wait and see! I have something really interesting planned for Kira and Rin, but I'll say no more. Keep reading! Thanks for the reviews! .

And now, the **disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed, neither do you, but as for Rin and the Harmony...I was going to make this rhyme but I can't think of anything...never mind. You dig it. On with the next chappie! Remember, three reviews before I update!

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CHAPTEREIGHT – THE RETURN OF A TEAMMATE 

A few days passed, and Rin was still unable to catch a glimpse of the Freedom's pilot. She was, however, able to meet most of the Archangel's crew. She was surprised but delighted to see that there were three soldiers about her age, possibly a year or two older. One of them was a girl. Her name was Miriallia, and she was actually quite pretty. However, she didn't talk much. The other two boys were named Kuzzey and Sai. Rin did not get to know Kuzzey very well because he was discharged soon after arriving at Orb. Sai, on the other hand, was staying along with Miriallia, and he was very polite with Rin. She also introduced herself in person to Captain Murrue Ramius and also to the pilot of the sky grasper, Mu La Flaga. While speaking with the latter, she was able to ask about the pilot of the Freedom.

"He was an amazing pilot," Rin told Mu. "Amazing, especially for a natural." She looked at him shrewdly, and right away he seemed to know where she was getting at. "Of course, he's not a natural like you are, is he?"

Mu shook his head with a smile. "Nah, that youngster's a coordinator, though he was never a student of the ZAFT military."

Rin was surprised. That meant that there was probably no way she knew him. "Oh," she said after a pause. "I guess I wouldn't have met him back on the PLANTS."

Now it was Mu's turn to be surprised. "So you're a coordinator as well?" he said, and there was slight suspicion in his voice.

"Yeah," Rin said with a nonchalant shrug, "but I ditched ZAFT. Orb is fighting for a much better cause, I've realized."

Mu grinned. "That's good to hear. You and the youngster, you're both amazing pilots. It'd be good to have people like you around. I suppose you're about seventeen?"

"Nope, fourteen!" Rin said with a wild grin.

Mu was again surprised. "So young…and ZAFT let you into the military at such a young age?"

Rin shrugged. "I don't think they cared about my age, as long as I was good with a mobile suit." _Besides, Nicol joined the military when he was fifteen, and I'm a much stronger pilot than he is – was._

A few minutes later, Rin decided to make some adjustments to her mobile suit. "Well, I'm off to work on the Harmony," she told Mu. "But can you do me a big favor?"

"Shoot," he said.

"Could you thank the pilot of the Freedom for me? You know, for saving me? And can you tell him that he's really good?"

Mu smiled. "That's all people tell him these days," he said with a chuckle. "But sure, I'll tell him for you."

"Thanks, Commander La Flaga!" Rin exclaimed, and with a salute and a wave, she left him to go work on her mobile suit.

As she was typing at a crazily fast speed, she noticed a bunch of equipment changes she'd need to make to better suit her machine. She got permission from Cagalli to get her ship upgraded and a bunch of workers were assigned to the task. After working with them for a couple of hours, Rin left them, knowing that everything was under control and that it would all be done by the next day.

However, Rin received grave news the next day, before the upgrading was finished. The Atlantic Federation of the Earth Alliance was planning to attack Orb since they refused to join them. The Archangel, fully repaired, was going out to protect Orb, and would be forced to fight its own kind. Rin, of course, was going to be fighting, too. On the plus side, she was going to get to fight with the Freedom again – something she was much looking forward to. But unfortunately, the Harmony's repairs weren't finished yet. She would have to wait while everyone else went out to fight. Rin sighed. Patience was definitely not a virtue of hers.

She had originally decided to oversee the final adjustments to her ship, but it was too boring and she desperately wanted to know how the fighting was going. Before anyone could warn her that she was doing something dangerous, she ran outside to observe the fight. What she saw amazed her. Someone else was watching the fight, and suddenly turned to run in a direction close to hers…and it was Dearka!

"Dearka!" Rin yelled, running to him, and he stopped to face her.

"Rin? Rin! What're you doing here?" he asked incredulously.

"I'm a soldier or Orb now," she informed him, very happy to see that he was alive and well. "What about you?"

"The Archangel took me prisoner in our last fight," he explained, "and I've just been released. But Morgan Rate took back my mobile suit."

He was in a hurry, she could tell. But why? "What's got you so fired up?" she asked.

"I want to help the legged ship," he said simply. "And for that, I need my mobile suit."

Rin looked at him weirdly. So his opinions had changed as well. But then she grinned, knowing exactly what to do. "You have no idea where they're keeping your mobile suit, but I've got a sure guess," she told him. "Come with me. I'll take you to the Buster. It's not far from here. Let's hurry!" And with that, she took off for one of the buildings, with Dearka right at her heels, staring at her in amazement.

Shortly after returning Dearka his mobile suit and witnessing him savethe legged shipfrom a critical hit, Rin received word that the Harmony had finished being upgraded. She hurriedly took off and joined the fray. Orb was being attacked from so many sides at once that she knew it would be best to work on the opposite side the Freedom was fighting on, so that they could save as much of Orb as they could.

There were a lot of mobile armors, mobile suits and other machines in the area that she hurried to, and there were no Orb soldiers in sight, but Rin easily made mincemeat of the enemies by firing off six beams at once, each one hitting at least three enemies, an ability that was just added after she had seen the Freedom use that technique while they fought together. Rin concluded that the Earth Alliance's weakest soldiers had probably been sent to this remote area, because even any accomplished natural would be able to outwit these machines.

After scanning the nearby areas (to find no enemies) and checking in with Cagalli, Rin hurried to help the Freedom. Apparently there were three incredibly strong mobile armors that needed to be dealt with. Rin hoped that she'd get there in time. She'd heard that the Freedom was having trouble fighting them off, which made her wonder what kind of tricks the Earth Alliance had up their sleeves.

The Buster was busy protecting the Archangel, and La Flaga was elsewhere with three other Orb mobile suits, fighting off other enemies. For some odd reason, Mu was now piloting a repaired Strike, a fact that gave her a sudden chill. She quickly shook that feeling off and rushed to help the Freedom. He was just ahead, fighting the mobile armors, but he was outnumbered, surrounded, and facing machines with very good techniques. One of them could even deflect beams. A direct hit would be unavoidable at this point for the Freedom. As Rin zoomed over to help, but with her calculations she realized suddenly that no matter how much speed she put on, she wasn't going to make it in time. He was going to be hit!

She put on an extra burst of speed in desperation, even though she knew it wouldn't work, but suddenly a red mobile suit appeared out of nowhere to block the shot. Despite her shock, Rin didn't waste another second and fired at the enemy mobile armor, knocking it aside for the time being by catching them by surprise. Then she took a good look at the new red mobile suit. It was identified as the Justice, but it looked so much like the Aegis… It couldn't have been, though. That machine was destroyed. An upgraded one, perhaps? That had to be it. And the style was so familiar. But then…that could only mean that the pilot…was Athrun!

"Athrun?" she said tentatively through the communicator. "Is that you?"

He answered her, and the Freedom as well, "This is Athrun Zala of ZAFT special forces. Do you read me, Harmony – Rin, isn't it?"

"Loud and clear!" she answered happily, hardly able to contain her excitement. Athrun was back. Athrun was back!

Athrun then continued, "And do you read me, Freedom? Or should I say, _Kira Yamato_?"

Kira. That name rang a bell somewhere in Rin's mind, giving her an odd chill. She knew that name, but she couldn't for the life of her remember where she'd heard it. Kira…who was he? At least she knew his name, but still…for some reason, thinking about it gave her an odd feeling of foreboding.

Because she was lost in her thoughts, she completely missed the reply that Kira made to Athrun, but Athrun's voice jolted her out of her thoughts. "I came here on orders to take back or destroy the Freedom, but I have no intention of doing so. I just want to talk."

"All right, then!" Rin jumped in excitedly, so both boys could hear. Some of her old personality was coming back to her now, after all the seriousness that was a part of mourning. "There's no time for talk now; we're fighting a war! But after the battle, you can talk all you like! Until then, Athrun, are you gonna help us or what?"

"Yes," he answered to you and Kira. "So let's get them!"

"Right on!" you agreed.

Now they were on equal terms with the mobile armors. Now the tables were about to turn.


	9. Chapter 9

OMG! I am so sorry for not updating sooner, my internet completely crashed (and still is crashed; I'm using my dad's laptop instead, with my home computer open so I can view my word document and copy it all onto here (email's not working either). My dad's supposed to fix the computer soon (I hope) but until then I'll work my butt off for you readers to get my chappies up.

Thank yous:

Sword of the soul: In case you forgot…well, you'll see in this chapter anyways.

Anime Writters: Thanks very much for the compliments!

HakuTenshi: Of course they're hot! If anyone disagreed I'd shoot them!

And last but not least, Kayla, I'm glad we sorted everything out in a peaceful way, and I can't wait for your fic to come out!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Seed or its characters. I simply own Rin, her mobile suits, and my imagination.

Thanks for your patience everyone!

* * *

CHAPTER NINE – FACES

There was no doubting Athrun's timing. It was excellent. And now the three mobile suits could get rid of the three enemies. At first, it was a bit awkward, especially for the Freedom for some reason, to work with Rin and Athrun, but eventually the three of them started pulling off some killer strategies, and thanks to their teamwork, victory seemed to be within reach. That was when the three enemy machines started arguing amongst themselves. To make matters even more confounding, they suddenly retreated, and all of the enemy ships followed suit.

Even though Rin was quite stunned with the retreat, she was still happy nonetheless. "Yes!" she exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air. "Mission accomplished!" But she couldn't help but notice the tension radiating from the Freedom and the Justice. Why was that? She sighed, not really caring about the answer anyways. But it was time to land.

As soon as she did, Rin jumped out of the Harmony and ran out. Everyone else was out of their ships, mobile armors, or whatever else they were piloting. Except for Athrun and Kira. They were taking their sweet time. While she waited, she stood next to Dearka.

She grinned. "So, you actually got captured?" she whispered to him in a mocking tone. "Tsk, tsk, Dearka, and I thought you were a good pilot!"

He glared angrily. "I took a hit and my power shut down! And to top that off, they were pointing their missiles at me! What else could I have done?" he snarled.

She laughed. "Heh, heh, I was only kidding. But I can't believe you ended up siding with the Archangel after they'd capture you. It does make me happy, though." Then, on a spurt of inspiration, she knew exactly why. She had seen him staring at that Miriallia girl before she went up to him. "So, what was it? Was someone on the ship so nice to you that you had to help them out? A pretty girl, maybe?"

Dearka's face went beet red. He tried to hide it and exclaimed, "You think they'd be nice to a prisoner? I almost got killed!" Then he clapped a hand to his mouth.

Rin stared at him, not really understanding his point. "But…if you were almost killed by them, why did you change sides?"

He turned away from her. He was silent for a moment, as if he was trying to find the right words. "I saw some…interesting things while I was there."

"Oh, please, do tell!" Rin said in a teasing voice.

The pilot of the Buster was spared of answering when Athrun came out of his mobile suit. He hadn't changed one bit. Same serious expression, same everything. Rin smiled at him, but he didn't seem to notice her. And then she noticed that Kira had descended from his mobile suit as well. He had a mess of brown hair and large purple eyes, and he looked so familiar…where had she seen him before? It seemed like she'd already met him… But every time she tried to think about it, her head would pound painfully. So she just decided to forget about it and stay happy. After all, Athrun was back, they'd driven away the enemies, and she even got to fight alongside Kira again…was there any reason to be upset?

Everyone watched in silence as the boys walked towards each other with serious looks on their faces. Rin looked at Cagalli. She seemed fidgety, as if she was about to cry. "What's up?" she asked her.

Cagalli shook her head. "They're both such…" And with that, she ran towards the boys and hugged them, yelling, "You idiots!" Athrun and Kira smiled at each other.

Rin ran forwards as well, a little bit hyper. She felt like she had a huge sugar rush. Probably because she was getting back to her usual self again. "Yeah, why the tense faces? Honestly!"

Athrun gave her a weird look, but he smiled at her, shaking his head. "Never mind," he said. "But let's get back. Besides," he looked at Kira, "we still need to have that talk I mentioned before."

* * *

Rin didn't hear most of their talk because she was with the Harmony, making sure everything was in good order and marking down on a slip of paper what adjustments she'd need the mechanics to make. Then she remembered that she was missing the big talk and ran to catch some of it.

When she got there, Kira was saying something along the lines of, "And you killed Tolle. But you didn't know him. And you didn't want to kill him either, did you?"

Athrun paused, and answered, "No."

Rin looked around. Everyone nearby was listening in, and she was surprised to see Miriallia go stiff, tears forming in her eyes. Dearka was right behind her, watching her. Rin grinned. _So I was right. It is a girl. Though I don't know if Miriallia likes him back._ He tried to say something to her, but she snapped at him and stormed off. Dearka took a few steps after her and then stopped. Rin went over to him. "You have to be gentle," she whispered with a teasing grin, giving him a nudge. He blushed, glared, and went after her again.

Kira was talking about the war now, and about his plans, and why he was fighting to protect Orb. He had very good reasons. And they were the same reasons that Rin had for siding with the neutral nation. But soon she decided that she didn't want to listen anymore, and she went back to her mobile suits to make adjustments on her own.

As she was leaving the room, she saw Sai standing by the doorway. "Where are you off to, Rin?" he asked her.

She shrugged. "I'm just going to make some adjustments." Sai nodded with a smile, but Rin was struck by a sudden thought as she made to leave. "Uh, Sai, what's with Miriallia?"

Sai's smile quickly faded. "She wasn't always so downcast," he began. "But Athrun killed Tolle – her boyfriend. He piloted our spare sky grasper. She's still not over it."

Rin gasped in surprise. The second sky grasper…it all came back to her. The big battle with the Strike, and a sky grasper appeared out of nowhere to help…Rin fired, her dodged…but Athrun's attack had made contact…she had been a part of this young man's murder.

"Something wrong?" asked Sai, concerned.

"No," she said quickly, bowing her head. "I-I'm sorry to hear about this. Well, I've got to get to work. See you around." And she turned abruptly and left the room.

* * *

A few hours later, Rin was still in the Harmony. She had just finished making small adjustments that only someone with her brains could think of, and was about to doze off when…

"Rin? You're in there, aren't you?"

She sat up with a jolt and took a peak outside the cockpit to see who was there. It was Athrun. She jumped out of her mobile suit. "What's up?" she asked with a smile, happy to speak to him again.

"What's keeping you?" he asked. "Why are you staying cooped up in your mobile suit?" He looked at the machine up and down. "It really is something, though. It's probably in the same class as the Freedom and the Justice. You pilot it really well."

"Thanks," she answered, becoming serious. She could feel her body screaming at her for rest. "But look, I'm making some adjustments right now and I'd rather not be disturbed. Sorry." As he turned to leave, she asked hurriedly, "But…later? Can we talk when I'm done? Maybe over tea or something?" She gave a sheepish smile, and for some reason felt her cheeks heating up.

Athrun smiled as well. "Sure," he said. "I'll hold you up to that. Until then…" He gave a wave and left, leaving Rin alone, and she climbed back into her mobile suit and slept.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Rin joined Athrun for a nice cup of tea. They talked about what's happened since they were separated and she discovered that Yzak was alive and well and still with ZAFT. As they laughed over his attitude, Kira entered the room, and she invited him to join them. She smiled. Kira gave a small, unsure smile back.

"Don't worry, you're not interrupting," Rin told him reassuringly. "Besides, I've been hoping to meet you in person."

Kira didn't seem to know what to say. He settled on, "I…uh…never properly introduced myself to you. I'm Kira. Kira Yamato."

She smiled. "I'm Rin." She didn't say her last name because Athrun was in the room, and she still wasn't ready for him to know who she was related to. "I also wanted to thank you in person for saving my neck back on the way to Orb."

Kira smiled back, comforted. "It was nothing. But you saved me, too. You fight really well."

Rin blushed a little. "You and Athrun are much better pilots that I am. You're both amazing." This time, the boys were the ones blushing. But she continued, "You know, I'm probably being pretty nosy, but I was curious about the two of you…you seemed to know each other, and yet you were so tense with each other before…"

The boys exchanged glances, and it was Athrun that spoke: "Well, we did know each other…but a lot of things happened during the war. It's hard to follow the right path, I guess. But you and Kira seemed to find it before me."

Rin grinned. She was in one of her moods again, and it felt good. "I met Reverend Malkio on the PLANTS after the fight with the Strike. He was with Lacus Clyne. But when she had to flee, I returned to Earth with the reverend. He helped me make my decision."

Kira's eyes flew open in surprise. So did Athrun's. Rin stared at them. "What's wrong? Was it something I said? I'm sorry if I offended you or…"

Athrun stuttered, "I – I didn't know you – you saw Lacus."

She laughed, relieved that she'd done nothing wrong. "Oh, is that all? I forgot to tell you that. The pilot of the Strike was with her too…I wonder what happened to him. Ah well, I'll get my shot at him sooner or later, since he's not with Orb so he's still an enemy." She looked at her empty cup of tea, oblivious to Kira and Athrun's stunned expressions. "Would you guys like me to get you some more tea?"

There was a moment of silence. "Sure," they answered in unison. Rin took their cups and left the room, unable to sense that there was something wrong in the atmosphere.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Athrun asked urgently, "She saw you on the PLANTS?"

"Yeah," said Kira in something like awe. "She'd broken her legs, and the first night they were better, she tried to kill me. But her legs were too weak to hold her up, and…she fell."

Athrun was taken aback. "And she doesn't realize who you are? How can that be?"

Kira thought for a bit. "When she fell…" he said suddenly. "I remember now…she hit her head. She must have forgotten about me."

"But she's a coordinator," Athrun protested. "A mild case of amnesia would cure itself in a couple of days. So why hasn't she remembered?"

"I have no idea," Kira answered. "But I feel guilty. Maybe we should just tell her."

Athrun could hear Rin's returning footsteps. "No, we can't tell her. She might try to hurt you again." Kira nodded in understanding, and Rin returned with the tea, a smile on her face.

"Sorry it took a while," she said, serving them. This time she noticed to tension in the air. "Something the matter?"

"Nah," said Athrun with a smile. "Thanks for the tea."

"It's nothing."

And so the three of them drank their tea, talking about the happier aspects of life and also their mobile suits. It was a fun conversation, and when they were through, Rin felt much closer to the both of them. When they parted company, it was with smiles and promises to do this again sometime.

Of course, Rin had no idea of the conversation that had gone on while she was getting more tea, which was a good thing. Besides, she'd made a promise to Nicol to make peace, not violence. Not knowing the truth would only help the situation…assuming that she didn't find out. But things have a funny way of turning for the worse when you least expect it to, so it was only a matter of time.


	10. Chapter 10

I am so so so so sorry it took so long to update! My computer completely crashed...so to make it up to you guys, as soon as I see a third review posted for this chappie I will update right away! (I have the whole series on word finished.)

Thank yous:  
crazygundamgirl: I'm glad you like it! Thanks for the review!  
Sword of the soul: Yeah, I can understand if you think it a bit strange. Thanks so much for always reviewing!  
ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice: No, Kira won't tell her. Read and find out what happens, though! .

**Disclaimer**: I own Rin and the Harmony, but nothing else. Also, I took some quotes from the English episodes for this chapter, so as part of the disclaimer, the quotes are not mine. I'll underline them so you know which ones they are. And they might not be exact. Just so you know.

* * *

CHAPTER TEN: CAGALLI'S MISTAKE

Soon after, the Earth Alliance mobile armors returned to finish what they started. Rin and Kira hurried to board their mobile suits, but someone's call stopped them.

"Kira! Rin!"

The two soldiers of Orb turned around to see Athrun running for them. He stopped when he reached them, panting slightly. "You know that there's no way Orb will win this fight?"

Rin was surprised at this. But Kira smiled. "Yeah," he said.

Rin thought about this. About the soldiers they were fighting with and against, and each side's abilities…and so it was true. There was no way, even with the three coordinators fighting, that Orb would not be taken. But still…

Kira pretty much summed up her feelings as well as his. "But that doesn't mean that we'll just sit around and let them do what they want with us, now does it? I'd really rather not fight if I can help it, but there are some things you can't protect without fighting."

Rin nodded. "Yeah, you're right, Kira. So let's do our best!" And she boarded the Harmony and got going, with Kira right behind her. Sadly, she noticed that Athrun wasn't following suit. But she had no time for that. She had to fight to protect Orb.

The three strong mobile armors were already wrecking havoc by the time she and Kira arrived on the scene, and were instantly onto them. Rin was finally able to identify them as the Forbidden, the Calamity, and the Raider, and she had already witnessed their abilities, so she was pretty sure she'd be okay. But of course, when you're fighting a three-on-two battle, things aren't always going to go your way. And things definitely didn't. Within about a minute into the fight, she and Kira were already on the ropes.

"Damn it!" Kira yelled as he was pushed back.

Rin charged in his place, but while spinning to dodge two blows, a third one hit her in the back and she plunged forwards, almost hitting the water. "Aaaaiieeee!"

That's when Athrun showed up on the scene. Rin gasped in delight.

"Both of us completely understood what you meant," Athrun said, his voice full of determination, and Rin knew he was speaking on behalf of Dearka as well. "There are things in this world you wanna protect – sometimes you gotta fight for them!"

Rin smiled in admiration. He sure knew how to be cool.

"Let's kick ass!" he said.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Rin happily. "Couldn't have said it better myself!

Kira grinned as well, and the fight was on.

Each of them took on one mobile armor apiece. Kira took on the Forbidden, and Athrun took on the Raider, leaving the Calamity for Rin, which was fine by her, because she found its abilities (firing two beams at once) pretty easy to dodge.

She was right. Dodging the beams was an easy task now that she was one-on-one with the machine. Rin was having the time of her life fighting him off, matching power for power. And she also knew that firing so often would leave the enemy machine powerless sooner or later, and she developed a strategy to taunt the pilot into using all of his power. While dodging his attacks, she was also able to lend Kira and Athrun helping hands by firing at their enemies at random when they weren't looking her way. Her taunts were also driving her enemy crazy.

"Come on, hotshot!" she teased. "Come and get me – if you can, that is!"

At first, he was a bit surprised that Rin was a girl. But as time went on, that no longer mattered. He grew more aggravated and his attacks grew wilder by the second.

"Aw, look at that!" she mocked. "The little pilot doesn't know how to aim for his target! Poor thing!"

"YOU BITCH!" he roared at her, firing his most powerful beams yet. Just to make him feel a little better, she let the beams hit her shield instead of dodging.

Now was Rin's chance to act. There was a beam blaster hidden beneath her shield, and taking aim, she fired, right for the mobile armor's head. It dodged, and suddenly it began its retreat, taking Athrun's enemy with it. And then Kira's opponent retreated as well.

Rin flew over to Kira and Athrun, panting, and staring at the mobile armors until they became nothing more than specks in the distance.

* * *

Inside, Lord Izumi had an announcement to make. They were abandoning Orb and heading for space. Rin saw the sense in these words, but was sad to hear that they were giving up. Still, she was excited to head out for space. As she was leaving to get ready, she gave Kira and Athrun a smile.

"Hey, Rin, wait for me!"

Rin turned to see Cagalli following her. "Oh, hey Cagalli," she said. "Is something wrong?"

"Well, not really," Cagalli said, trying to choose the right words to say. "So you're…all right with Kira now?"

"Oh, yeah," Rin said, not catching the meaning of her words. "He's a really great pilot, and he's really quite nice."

Cagalli was surprised. "I mean – after everything he did – and you're okay?"

Rin frowned, wondering what Cagalli was getting at. "What are you talking about?" she asked in confusion. "I don't get where you're going with this."

Cagalli was confused too, but slightly happy. "So you don't want revenge on him, then?"

"Revenge?" asked Rin in surprise. "Why would I want re…" She trailed off, and all the puzzle pieces fit themselves together. She knew the reason behind Cagalli's words. And she suddenly remembered where she had seen Kira before, and this time her head didn't pound: with Lacus. He was the pilot of the Strike. It was Kira, all along! And then she remembered at the tea, when she mentioned the Strike and both of them looked so strange. And Kira's reaction when she was so kind to him. He expected her to want revenge. Because he had killed Nicol!

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" Rin shrieked at Cagalli. "That all this time – it was him – and he was acting like my friend!" With that, she took off, tears streaming down her face. All along, it had been him. And he never said anything to her about it! How could he not? Wasn't he at all sorry for what he'd done? She could never forgive a jerk like him.

"Hey, Rin? What's the matter? Are you alright?"

Rin turned to see the last person she wanted to see right then: Kira. And all of her anger exploded.

"THOUGHT I'D JUST SIT BACK AND NEVER REALIZE THE TRUTH?" she bellowed. "AND ALL THIS TIME YOU WERE JUST PRETENDING TO BE MY FRIEND – BUT YOU DON'T CARE, DO YOU? YOU'RE JUST A HEARTLESS MURDERER! GET OUT OF HERE! GET AWAY FROM ME!" And she ran, leaving Kira standing there, an expression of hurt and regret on his face.

When Rin finally stopped running, she was in an empty room, with only three gundams inside: the Freedom, Justice, and Harmony. That was were she let her emotions run through, and she began to pound her head against the wall, trying to get all of her anger out before anyone would notice. But then screams erupted from her throat, terrible, anguished screams that would surely attract someone's attention, and she just couldn't stop them. "AAARGH! AAARGH! AAARGH!"

"Rin?" Suddenly a hand was on her shoulder in a gentle but firm grip. Rin stopped screaming abruptly and turned to see who it was.

It was Athrun. He had an expression of genuine concern on his face, but there was also a determination to find out what was wrong.

"Rin, please, tell me what's wrong," he said, a little alarmed when Rin turned to glare at him with utmost hatred. "Please just tell me –"

"GET AWAY FROM ME, DAMN IT!" she screamed at him, letting out all of her anger on him instead of a wall. "YOU AND KIRA – I HATE YOU BOTH!"

"Rin, what are you talking about?" he exclaimed in surprise when she tried to punch the wall. He grabbed her arm, and she promptly used the other one to punch him in the face. Athrun winced but quickly got a grip on that arm as well. "What on earth has gotten into you?"

"HE KILLED HIM! HE KILLED HIM! HE'S A MURDERER! AND YET YOU ACT LIKE HE'S DONE NOTHING WRONG – YOU JUST LET HIM BE!"

"I don't understand, Rin," Athrun said, releasing his grip on her when she kicked him in the shin. "If you could just calm down and we talk about it –"

Everything left inside of her exploded. "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" she shrieked. "KIRA KILLED MY NICOL! HE KILLED MY BROTHER! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU FORGIVE HIM FOR THAT!" Her knees gave way beneath her and she fell to the ground, sobbing and wailing in torment.

Athrun made no move. His mouth and eyes were wide, and he was staring in shock.

Rin quickly found the strength to stand. Without another word, she dashed out of the room, crying madly, leaving Athrun alone with the lifeless gundams.


	11. Chapter 11

Yay three reviews! It took a bit longer than I'd hoped for, but oh well. So, this is the eleventh chapter! Second chappie in double digits, wow. I'm on a roll! …Kind of.

Thanks:

ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice: No, Cagalli did know it was Kira, she just didn't realize that Rin was the one who "didn't" know. Hope you like this next one!

Sword of the soul: My loyal reviewer, always first to review…I love you! (You know what I mean.) Thanks so much!

cynical.life: Chrissy, the emails do count, but I go by the number of reviews on the site, not the emails. Sorry!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Not the characters, mobile suits, nor Nicol's pretty piano theme! But wait! I do own Rin. Haha!

* * *

CHAPTER ELEVEN – IN HIS MEMORY, I PLAY

Rin had no idea how far she'd run, or how she'd gotten there, or where the heck she was, for that matter. But somehow, she had found herself in a small, white room, furnished with nothing but a black piano.

The piano was old and dusty, and from the looks of things, Rin guessed that it hadn't been played in years. She walked over to it and played a simple note, and then a few others. They vibrated in her ear, and her good hearing told her that the piano was still tuned. It could still be played on.

Looking at the piano, she felt her anger starting to fade away. It would have been a beautiful piano if it hadn't been so dusty. Most likely, everyone had forgotten about it in the course of the war. The peaceful piano that delivered sweet tunes to people's ears had been replaced by a machine and a gun, along with a lust to fight and kill. Nicol had even abandoned his piano…and he was shot down. If he had just stayed home, if he had just continued to play his beautiful song, none of this would have happened.

But it did happen. That was the reality which she faced. Fact is, Nicol _did_ abandon his piano, and he _was_ shot down. His songs were over. All thanks to Kira.

Kira! That jerk! That idiot, that murderer!

The last bit of anger within her exploded, and Rin banged on the piano keys, causing a terrible, moaning sound to escape. She just kept pounding, and that wailing sound continued. _Stupid piano! _she cursed._ Why couldn't Nicol have loved you just a bit more, so that he would never have left you to join the war? It's your fault he's dead, stupid thing!_ She wanted nothing more right then to destroy that piano, to damage it so much that it could never be fixed, never be played on again…

And then it all stopped. Rin sat down on the bench, panting. Her quick breaths slowly returned to normal, and her longing to destroy the piano slowly faded. Her mind felt much clearer. All of her anger was gone now, which enabled her to reflect on what had just happened.

She regretted yelling at Athrun like that. Athrun was not to blame for what had happened. He and Kira were childhood friends, after all. And it seemed that Athrun understood the war much better than her. Everyone wanted revenge. And so the war just kept escalating, and would keep escalating until one side had completely wiped out the other. She even felt bad for yelling at Kira now. Because she had made a promise to Nicol, a promise that she hadn't kept.

"I'm sorry, Nicol," she said, closing her eyes and letting a few tears come down. "I should have tried harder. I said I'd try to forgive Kira, but I couldn't bring about the courage to forgive him. Oh, Nicol, I keep letting you down. I know how you must have felt whenever I was so rude to you now. Please give me another chance. I'll try harder, I really will. I'll try to forgive Kira. I won't go after him for revenge. But Nicol…I don't know if I have the strength to forgive Kira for killing you. I know it's what you'd want, but I'm scared, brother. What if I can't do it? What if I just yell at him again? What if I try to kill him again? I don't want to let you down. I want to make you proud. Please, Nicol…give me the strength I need to do this. I know I can't do it alone. I'm not gentle like you. Please be with me, Nicol…" Rin paused, for she had felt the smallest and gentlest of breezes pass through the room, even though the windows weren't open. And she knew that Nicol had given his answer. "Thank you…and if I break my promise again, I give you my word that I will take my life and burn in Hell for all eternity. But it won't happen. I swear I won't let you down this time."

When she had finished, Rin just looked at the piano. She didn't feel calm enough to return to the others yet. She closed her eyes and took some deep breaths. Her fingers moved on their own, and found their way to the dusty piano keys, feeling the dust rub off on them. She played a few simple notes. The sounds were so peaceful, so soothing. It was really helping her nerves. Rin decided that she wanted to play some more before she left.

Looking at the piano, she knew that this would not do. Nicol would never play without making sure the piano was in the best condition possible. She'd have to clean it. She tore off a piece of her sleeve and began wiping off every speck of dust she could find. It took quite a long while, but once she had finished, the sleeve was filthy and disgusting, and the piano was shining as though it was still brand new.

Rin tossed the sleeve aside, sat down, and played a few more notes. They sounded fine. She played a simple scale. Fine as well. She played a small piece that she had learned, which was so easy that she memorized it from the first time she played. She found no problems in that piece as well. All was good. But there was a burning desire within her – a desire to see just how well she knew her older brother's favourite piece.

Rin played the first few notes, then stopped, searching through her brain, trying to remember the notes from when she had last played the piece. She remembered, and started over. This time she did better, but only got as far as the first system. She was forced to stop again, trying as hard as she could to remember the notes, how long to play them for, and in what order they were played. She started over again, and got no further. And again, and again. But her mind was still blank. She couldn't remember!

"No…" Rin moaned, trying out different combinations that could possibly work, but none of them sounded right. "Why is this happening to me?" she asked herself, her voice shaking, tears starting to come down from her disappointment. She felt as though she was letting her brother down. "Why can't I remember the right notes?"

A voice in the distance behind her said softly, "Maybe you should try to remember the feel of your fingers on the piano keys."

Rin closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and started over, her eyes still closed. Somehow, she had the feeling that this time would be different. She played up to the first system. This time she didn't stop. Her fingers moved on their own, following the pattern that felt – and was – just right.

As she played, she remembered watching Nicol play this piece with distaste so long ago. She remembered his kind smile, his gentle touch, his loving and caring voice. As she played, she suddenly felt as though Nicol was there playing with her, his own hands guiding hers across the keys to create a beautiful melody.

Finally, the piece ended, and the memories vanished. Rin opened her eyes to realize that she had been crying while she played. Then she remembered the voice that she had heard. It had come from the doorway. She turned around to see Athrun standing there, motionless. Not only that, but she could have sworn there were tears in his eyes. But then again, it was probably only a trick of the light.

"I heard Nicol playing this piece once," Athrun explained to her quietly. "He played the whole piece flawlessly, just from memory, with his eyes closed. He told me that he'd been able to do it because he remembered not the notes but the feel of his fingers on the piano keys." His voice had sounded steady at first, but it had begun to shake. Rin was alarmed to see tears coming down. There was a moment of silence, and he added, "You play with almost the same grace that…that he had."

Rin blinked hard, trying to stop the remaining tears from coming out, but it just wouldn't work.

Athrun continued, his voice shaking madly, "N-Nicol was…always so gentle and c-caring…he always told me…that he w-wanted to do a p-proper concert one day…"

"I-I know," Rin said in a voice just as shaky as his.

"Please, Rin…don't be mad at Kira," Athrun pleaded suddenly, and Rin stared at him in surprise. "I know you hate him for killing Nicol, but…don't blame him…it was my fault that he died…it should have been me…but Nicol did it…to save me…" His voice was breaking now. Rin's eyes were growing more and more watery with each passing second. "It was my weakness that got him killed…because I was too weak to convince Kira…to bring him to our side…if I had done it…this would never have happened!"

Rin couldn't hold it in any longer. "Athrun!" she cried, and she was hugging him, her tears flowing onto his shirt. For a few minutes, the two of them just stood there, with Rin sobbing into Athrun's clothes, and Athrun patting her gently. Eventually they were both able to stop crying, though it took Rin a bit longer than him.

Rin wiped away the few tears she had left. "I'm sorry for yelling at you before," she said softly. "I didn't mean it. I don't hate you. And if Nicol…if he died to save you, then…you must have been someone he really cared about…a really good person."

"Thanks," he muttered.

"And also," she added, "I…I don't hate Kira. I just…I…I'm trying."

He seemed to understand what she meant. He smiled. "I thought you looked like someone I knew when we first met. Now I'm absolutely certain. You really are his sister. You have the same eyes…the same smile. You might be a bit different, but…there's no doubt that you're still just like him."

Rin gave a small smile back. _This piece was for you, Nicol._

* * *

So, I hope you all liked that one. By the way, I just thought of something…I'm sure not all of you have heard Nicol's piano theme before, so if you guys want, I can email you a wma file of it since I have it on a CD. So, if you'd like me to do that, review and give me your email address. DO NOT EMAIL ME! I will email you through a different address (mine is broken), but I will state that it's Nariko from fanfiction and you'll understand. Okay? Okay! Hope to see some reviews! 


	12. Chapter 12

Yay three reviews! Took much longer than I'd hoped for. For the two reviewers that requested Nicol's piano theme, sorry I've been prettybusy all week but I am going to send it over within the next half hour after posting this chappie. And since I'm really lazy today, I'm not going to thank individual reviewers, but as a whole. So thank you reviewers!

**Disclaimer**: I do NOT own Gundam Seed. If I did, I'd be the happiest person on earth.

Enjoy this chappie!

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CHAPTER TWELVE: FLIGHT OF TERROR

"Rin, we should head back now," Athrun said to her after a moment. "They'll be looking for us."

"Oh. Right."

Taking her by the hand, Athrun led her back to the room containing the mobile suits. It was a good thing he had been there, otherwise she would never have been able to find her way back. The area was deserted, save for one person climbing into the Freedom: Kira. Rin's heart gave a tremendous jolt; her hands began to shake uncontrollably.

Athrun gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Easy now," he murmured. Rin looked at him, her eyes big. "Calm down. Everything's okay." Rin sighed and continued to let Athrun lead her to the Harmony.

Kira then noticed them, and when he spoke, Rin's stomach gave a lurch. "Athrun, Rin, you made it," he said happily, but there was something false in his voice, mixed with all the relief. "We were getting worried. We're launching into space now. The Archangel's launching first, and we're going to provide backup. Then we'll use the Kusanagi to get us into space."

"All right, Kira," Athrun said. He left Rin and she climbed aboard the Harmony. Athrun went to Kira before going to the Justice. "She found out," he muttered.

"I know," Kira said in a low voice, so that Rin couldn't hear. "Is she okay?"

"She will be, eventually, I think," Athrun said. "She's calmed down, at least. Come on, let's get going."

As Rin prepared to launch, a million thoughts flew through her mind, intertwining with one another and bouncing against the walls of her mind so that they just kept coming back. _Kira killed Nicol. He killed my brother. But he's been good to me otherwise. He's a kind person who'd rather not fight. Athrun is his friend. Athrun doesn't care about my feelings. He just wants to protect his best friend, Kira. He doesn't care that Kira killed Nicol. Yes, he cares. Nicol died to save him. Of course Athrun cares. He even blames himself, not Kira. But that's because he's just taking the blame to protect Kira. No_, she told herself sternly, her hands shaking as she launched. _You can't think that way. You made a promise to Nicol. Now honor that promise and kick some butt._

The Justice and the Freedom launched on either side of her, and instantly the Calamity, Forbidden, and the Raider came charging for them. Rin hurried to engage with the Calamity, while Kira took the Forbidden and Athrun took the Raider. A fierce battle ensued, with neither side having the clear advantage. Rin also noticed that the Calamity had been upgraded and re-supplied. She'd have to be more careful this time around.

The Calamity fired two beams at her and she countered with her shield while at the same time firing a beam at the mobile armor's cockpit. Her heart gave a sickening lurch when she realized where she'd been aiming, but her opponent blocked it and she shook herself over.

_I'm being an idiot now,_ she thought angrily. _I can't start getting all emotional again. I've already killed many Earth Alliance soldiers, even a few ZAFT ones. My own kind. I'm used to this. Besides, these guys are enemies and I have to shoot them down or be shot down! But…heh…then I'd see Nicol again…NO! I have to finish what I started. I have to keep going! For Nicol!_

And at that moment, everything changed. Rin didn't know what was the cause of it, but suddenly everything became clear. Every single attack headed for her…every dodge, every block…it was enabling her to visualize what the Calamity would be doing next. She could see it!

She fired missiles at the Calamity and the mobile armor dodged up, just as Rin was expecting. She fired some beams right above him and he dodged downwards, just as she was charging towards him with her beam sabre, and before he could do anything, she had sliced off both legs of the mobile armor. Then, before he could further react, she was on top of him, ready to pierce through the cockpit and destroy the ship –

"Rin, get back here!"

A beam came out of nowhere and shot the beam sabre out of her hands. Rin looked to see who had made the shot, and was startled to see that it was Kira.

_Kira,_ she thought in shock and anger. _Why did he stop me?_

The three enemies all seized the opportunity to fire simultaneously at her. The shots were coming from each direction, too fast to dodge…she was going to be hit!

More missiles came from Kira's direction, but this time it was Athrun that shot them. They collided with the enemies' attacks and Rin flew upwards to get away from them. Still, Rin was angry at Kira now. Why did he stop her? She was about to get rid of the machine once and for all…

"Rin, get back here now!" yelled Kira, firing beams to distract the enemy mobile armors.

"Shut up!" Rin shot back. "I was about to –"

"RIN!" shouted Athrun urgently.

It was his cry, above all else, that snapped Rin back to reality. The Archangel had already launched and was well out of sight, and the Kusanagi was…

"NO!" cried Rin in terror, putting on as much speed as she could. The Justice and the Freedom already had good grips on the Kusanagi, which was almost at the lift of the launching ramp. To make matters worse, the Calamity, Forbidden, and the Raider were all firing beams at her, trying to take her down. Kira and Athrun were shooting at the water right in front of them to raise up walls of water to block them, and though it helped, Rin wasn't near close enough to the Kusanagi to get on.

"Rin!" yelled Athrun, extending a hand of his mobile suit to her as far as he dared to stretch. "Hurry, Rin! Grab on! You can do it!"

Rin stretched out as much as she could, but it was still not good enough. Now the Justice was no longer holding on to the Kusanagi; if it weren't for the Freedom's grip then it, too, would be like her. Rin's speed was at its maximum, yet the Kusanagi was accelerating so much that she was falling ever so slightly behind…

"AAAHH!" she shrieked, reaching even further, and she did it – one of the Harmony's hands connected with that of the Justice. She was on, she was safe…

But the Freedom was struggling. "I – I can't hold on like this!" yelled Kira as the Kusanagi shot upwards up the ramp, about to launch. And Rin knew what was happening. At this speed, the force pushing down on them would throw all three mobile suits off if Athrun didn't get his grip on the ship in time.

"Athrun!" Rin screamed, as the force pushed down on her, trying to pry her away from the Justice. "Don't let go! Please! Athrun!"

And the Kusanagi launched, flying up towards space, and Athrun got his grip.

Panting hard, Rin felt the edges of her vision blur, and she closed her eyes, relaxed, and sighed in relief.

"No, _Rin_!"

Rin's eyes snapped open. When she had relaxed, her grip on the Justice had done so as well. Before she realized what was happening, before she could tighten her grip again, she was falling, down, down, down, towards the ocean awaiting her just below.

"ATHRUN!" she cried, tears flooding her eyes, and her machine landed in the water with an almighty splash, explosions ringing out from the distance. Then her vision blurred completely, and Rin knew no more.


	13. Chapter 13

Yay I finally got my third review! Geez it always takes so long...so I'll get straight away to the thank yous. Oh, yeah, last chappie was about the halfway point in the series FYI, as I have all 21 of them written on microsoft word. Once we get there, it's up to the reviewers if I write an epilogue or not (if I even get there - and I have a feeling you'll want one). So on to the thank yous:

cynical.life: Yay my bestest friend loves my fic but hates my cliffies! Thanks for the support chrissy-poo!  
ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice: Thanks so much for the reviews, I am dedicating this chapter to you for all your support!  
asucaginluv: Yeah, I really do. . Enjoy this chapter!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Seed. Boo...and warning because there will be drug reference and swearing (there was swearing in the last chappie) in this chapter and in chapters to come. If someone thinks I should raise my rating, let me know.

Oh, and if anyone wants a copy of nicol's piano theme (aka theme of tears - i think) just review and let me know!

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN – AWAY FOR GOOD 

Sinking…sinking…sinking…she was sinking, deeper and deeper…she was completely swallowed up by the water…explosions were ringing in her ears, mingled with the urgent voices of people yelling her name…Athrun, Cagalli, Mu, Dearka, and even Kira…

Then she heard the voice of her first teacher at the military school, Commander Johnson, and what he told her before she left:

"_Don't be too rash. Make sure you think all your actions through before you follow through with them_."

The reverend Malkio's voice followed suit:

"_I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up being a bearer of the SEED. I believe you have the abilities to push yourself that far. Besides, you survived the big explosion, so you must have some special ability_."

Athrun's voice came subsequent to the reverend's, when he was admiring her new mobile suit:

"_It is really something, though. I think it might even be in the same class as the Freedom and the Justice. You pilot it really well_."

Next, she heard Yzak's first comment upon meeting her:

"_So, you must be pretty good for a girl to be assigned here. So just how good are you_?"

After that, she heard Mu's voice:

"_So young…and ZAFT let you into the military at such a young age_?"

Yes, all of their comments made sense. She was an amazing pilot; from the moment she first stepped into the cockpit of a mobile suit everyone knew she'd be amazing. But still…she had blundered terribly. All because she hadn't thought about the consequences of her actions. She was so used to acting on instinct, and look where it got her. No wonder she was hearing flashes of the past. That's what happens to someone who was dying. Yes, she was dying. At such a young age, too. She was only fourteen. There were still many things left for her to do, and they would be left unfinished. She would never live to see the days of peace, or maybe go to prom, or even have a first love. Instead, she'd be one of those in the war that needn't have died. She'd be another one of the people who misjudged their situation and lost their lives. It was all over so fast…

And now she wouldn't be able to keep her promise to Nicol…

_And then she was young again, reliving the days before boarding school, when she and Nicol lived at home together with their parents. During a time of temporary peace._

_Crying. That was an understatement. There was no way that simple word could describe Rin's reaction to the pain of a broken arm ten years ago. She was positively howling, kicking and screaming at anyone who came near her as she lay on the ground in pain. She had tried to run up a slide without using her hands, lost her balance, and fell sideways off of the plastic yellow slide onto the grass, landing on her arm, which had promptly broken._

"_Rin, don't cry, please," said a five-year-old Nicol in an attempt at a soothing voice. Rin only wailed louder and tried to kick her brother away. Nicol backed up just in time, but then moved forwards again, stroking her broken arm. "It's okay, sister, a doctor's coming. You'll be just fine. It'll be good as new when the doctor is finished. Okay? Don't cry, Rin…"_

_But Rin hated when Nicol was near. She kicked even harder, and this time her foot connected with Nicol's nose, and it started to bleed. _

_Nicol put a hand to his nose to try to stop the bleeding, and he still stayed right where he was. Rin was so amazed that he wasn't crying that she instantly stopped. There was no way she'd look weaker than her brother. _

_Nicol smiled, still gently stroking her. Rin then bit him, and he pulled his hand away, surprised. "I don't need your help," she said. "It doesn't hurt. I'm fine." And she stood up and walked away. When she took a peak behind her, Nicol was smiling again._

And now she was in blackness, sinking deeper and deeper, slowly dying. Once again, voices were talking. But this time it was different. There were three unfamiliar voices speaking this time, and they weren't talking to her.

"So, when do you think she's gonna wake up?" asked one of them.

"Doesn't look like it'll be anytime soon," answered a second. "Hey, Orga, what's her mobile suit like?"

"The darn thing put a lock on the system," the third one, called Orga, answered. "I can't open it."

"Pathetic," said the first one.

"Yeah, Shani's right," the second one agreed.

"Shut up, Clotho!" Orga said angrily. "Why don't you try to open it?"

"Nah, I'd rather play my video game," Clotho replied. "It's much more fun. I get to shoot tons of ships."

Orga, Shani, and Clotho. Who were these three people? That Orga's voice was slightly familiar, too. And then she remembered the insult the pilot of the Calamity had thrown at her when they'd been fighting a little while back. Could it have been him? And did that mean…?

Rin opened her eyes, and the sinking sensation instantly stopped. She was lying in a bed in a medical room that reminded her of the one in the Archangel. Three boys no older than Athrun were watching her. One had bright green hair, another had red hair, and the last had light green hair that covered one side of his face. Orga, Clotho, and Shani, judging by the positions of their voices. But where was she? And what was she doing where she was? And why were those people there? And were they the pilots of the three mobile armors of the Earth Alliance?

"Huh, so you're awake," Shani said. "About time."

Rin sat up slowly, and her head swam painfully. She fought it off and soon her vision cleared. She seemed very much alive and healthy, nowhere near death. "How long was I asleep for?" she asked.

"A couple of days," answered Clotho,his fingers jabbing atbuttons on his portable video game player. "Now shut up and let me concentrate."

Orga left the room. Rin frowned at Clotho. Just who was he to talk like that? But she kept her mouth shut. If she really was on board an EA ship, then she'd have to be careful.

A minute later, a woman entered the room. She was tall with short black hair and bright purple eyes not unlike Kira's. Instantly Rin knew that she was a strict woman, and she wore a captain's uniform. Shani and Clotho left the room.

"So, you're the girl who pilots the mobile suit known as the Harmony," the woman said in a business-like voice. "A coordinator, aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am," Rin answered dully. If she was a hostage, she'd have to be obedient. And if they really had her mobile suit with them, then she'd have to make sure it stayed safe. This was a way to try and guarantee that.

"So, girl, tell me your name and the unit you were with," the captain said.

"My name is Rin Amarfi, and I'm a soldier of Orb," she answered. "I was with the ships known as the Kusanagi and the Archangel."

The woman was surprised upon hearing the latter. "The Archangel, you say?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Hmm." The woman looked thoughtful. She was about to ask another question when the door opened and a man entered. He wore a light blue suit and had blond hair. Rin had heard of this man back at the PLANTS and at Orb. Unless she was mistaken, he was Muruta Azrael, the leader of Blue Cosmos.

"Miss Captain, I'll take over from here," he said. "You may leave."

"Yes, Director Azrael," the woman answered, leaving, and Rin's suspicions were confirmed.

Azrael went over to a pitcher of water on the desk and poured some into a glass. "Would you like some, pilot?"

Rin nodded. "Yes, please." She had only just realized how thirsty and hungry she was.

The man handed Rin the glass of water, and she drank gratefully.

"I overhead some of your conversation, girl, and I must say that you cooperated rather well," Azrael said. "So, let me tell you of our plans. You are currently aboard the Dominion, an Archangel-class ship, and the ship is on our lunar base. We rescued your mobile suit and brought it into space with us. We will be trying to capture or destroy the Freedom and the Justice. So, Rin, will you lend us your assistance?"

Rin gasped when she realized how forward he was being, as if he expected her to agree. But…that would mean fighting Athrun. Rin couldn't do that. There was no way she could! And she promised Nicol that she wouldn't try to hurt Kira, either.

"No," she answered flatly. "I will not let you hurt my friends."

"I don't think you have a choice in the matter," Azrael said with a twisted smile.

And suddenly Rin was in pain. Terrible, terrible pain. She gasped for breath, clutching at the bed sheets, shaking madly. It was almost unbearable. She felt like she was going to die, for real this time…

"What did you put in my water?" she gasped at the leader of Blue Cosmos.

"Something that will assure me of your cooperation," he answered simply with a small smile.

"You –" But Rin couldn't finish her sentence. The pain was too great; she couldn't take it anymore–

Azrael handed her a new glass of water, and this time, didn't make a point of hiding the fact that he was putting something in it. "If you want it to stop, drink."

She'd have to drink it. She wanted to refuse him, but she knew that things couldn't get any worse. With shaking hands, she took the glass and drank. Almost instantly, the pain vanished.

She stared at Azrael in shock. "What did you – what did you do to me?"

"While you were still unconscious, we injected a drug into your system," Azrael informed her. "We had to give you heavy amounts since you showed no signs of previously taking it. So now we've got you addicted. And if you don't take the drug – which I've just placed in your water – every few hours, you'll be in far greater pain than you were just in. And I'm the one who keeps the drug. So if you don't obey me, you'll suffer." He chuckled. "And there was nothing in the water the first time. I was merely showing you some hospitality."

"Some hospitality this is," Rin muttered with a shudder. She was starting to feel a little panicked. There was a drug in her system. A drug! And at her age! What would happen to her? Would she be forced to take it for the rest of her life until the day she'd die?

Azrael continued, "So, I will ask you again: will you help me?"

Rin glared at him. How could this happen to her? But she had to answer him. If she didn't, she'd be tortured for the rest of her life. That pain had been so terrible…she didn't want to feel like that ever again.

"Yes," she answered, "I will."


	14. Chapter 14

OMG 4 reviews in under 24 hours! I'm so happy! OMG! THANK YOU SO MUCH! And now I get to update even faster! And ps see my profile at the top, someone pointed out a mistake I made in the story so I noted that down there.

My special thank yous (I dedicate this chappie to all four of you!):  
cynical.life: My first reviewer for the new chapter!Always on the ball, aren't you? NOT, it's only cuz I told you, heh heh. Thanks though!  
ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice: Well, I can't tell you, but if you read you'll find out! .  
asucaginluv: Thanks so much for saying that, you don't know how good it makes me feel!  
.X.x.Anime Sisterz.x.X.: I hope I'm updating soon enough for you! Yeah, I have the rule, because without reviews I honestly wouldn't continue writing. Thanks for reviewing!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gundam Seed and whatever drug Azrael uses, cuz I honestly don't have a clue anyways. And I don't own the storyline either; just Rin and what happens because of her presence. Enjoy!

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN – A STRONG INCENTIVE

Rin took a small sip of the drugged water Azrael had given her. After using it for two days, she'd gotten used to the taste, which she hated, but she knew there was no other choice. The good thing was, though, that as long as she pledged to help Azrael, he let her do what she wanted with the Harmony, and made sure that no one else touched it. But still…she longed to be back with the Archangel and the Kusanagi. They were probably worried about her. And she didn't know how she'd be able to bring herself to fight them.

She'd also gotten to know the three EA mobile suit pilots. Not that she cared, and they didn't care about her either. She mostly kept her distance from them since they only annoyed her. Shani always listened to his music and kept to himself, Orga read paperback novels, and Clotho was always playing his video game, at which he'd never lost. He and Orga argued a lot, too. It drove Rin nuts to be around those guys.

At the moment, the Dominion was moving out into space, searching for the Archangel and the Kusanagi. Rin hoped that they wouldn't find the ships. First of all, she had no desire to fight against Athrun, and secondly, she didn't want to see those ships destroyed. Not after everything they'd done to try and keep Orb.

But all of her luck had left her. Azrael summoned her to his dark office with a question for her – the question she'd been praying he wouldn't ask.

"So, Rin, you were aware of the Archangel and the Kusanagi's destination, am I right?" he asked her with a sly grin.

"No, sir," she muttered, looking him straight in the eye, praying that he wouldn't realize that she was lying.

But, being the cunning man he was, he knew right away. "You're lying," he said in an almost singsong voice.

"No sir, I was never told," Rin protested, knowing full well that she hadn't fooled him in the least.

"Do you want to be punished again, girl?"

Those words. The words Rin would be hearing any time she even thought of disobeying him. The words that bound her to his will.

"I knew their destination," she said softly, with her head down. "They were headed for the L4 colonies for shelter and supplies when the time comes."

"L4, huh?" said Azrael. "Good. I'm glad I can count on your cooperation." He gave a chuckle. "You coordinators act so tough, but when given the right incentive, it's all too easy to keep you on a leash."

These words boiled up inside of her and caused her to explode. "Is that how you consider us coordinators?" she demanded, slamming her hands down on to his desk as she stood up. "Because if the coordinators are working for you, you don't have to be afraid of them, is that it? Because I'm stronger than you and you know it! You wouldn't stand a chance if I tried to kill you! And I could do it right now!" She pulled her knife out of her pocket and pointed it at Azrael.

He didn't even flinch. Instead, he laughed. And laughed, and laughed.

"What's so funny?" snapped Rin, edging closer, the knife ahead of her.

"Kill me if you must," Azrael said once he had calmed down. "But you'd be signing your own death warrant. If you kill me, you will not be permitted to use the drug. And you will never find another like it. So if you kill me now, you'll be drenched in torment and suffering for the rest of your life!"

Rin dropped the knife in shock, and it clanged at her feet. The look on Azrael's face…he meant what he was saying. This was no bluff. She really would be tortured for the rest of her life. And at such a young age…she'd never been scared of a Natural before. But now all that changed. She was only fourteen. To live a life addicted to drugs was something she'd never considered. It was never meant to happen to her. But it did. All because of the Natural standing in front of her.

She fell to the floor in tears, almost landing on the knife. Through her sobs, she heard Azrael say, "For that little bit of defiance, you've gotten yourself an hour of punishment. I'm disappointed in you. You should have just listened, like a good, obedient dog would. Let this serve as a reminder for future actions."

* * *

An hour later, Shani walked into their room to get new batteries for his Walkman and found Rin clutching at her bed sheets, gasping in pain.

"So, he's punishing you now?"

"Shut…up…" moaned Rin, breathing hard, trying to block out everything around her.

"Ah, you'll live. And as long as you kick butt when we go to battle, he'll let you be."

He left the room, leaving Rin alone and helpless.

* * *

Azrael had lied when he told her it would be only an hour of punishment. She stayed like that for three long hours before a doctor finally brought her a glass of water. She practically dove for the glass when she saw it, and the first sip was something close to heaven. The doctor also brought news that the Archangel had been found, along with the Kusanagi and a mystery ZAFT ship, and said that Rin had been ordered to go out and fight.

Rin knew that she had to fight. As Shani had said, as long as she performed well, she would be spared of punishment. And even if it meant fighting Athrun, she was ready to do anything to avoid another three hours of terrible pain.

Inside her mobile suit's cockpit, Azrael was in contact with her. "If I see any hesitation, you will be in big trouble. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," she said half-heartedly, but she knew it had to be done.

"Okay, your course is clear," her CIC told her.

"Rin Amarfi, Harmony launching!" she said, and took off.

The first thing she saw after she had launched was none other than the Justice. And the way it stopped moving suddenly told her that Athrun recognized her.

"Rin!" he yelled into the communicator. "Rin, is that you?"

"It's me, Athrun," she mumbled, not looking at the screen. She could tell by his voice that he was both relieved and confused.

"Rin, what happened to you? Did they capture you? You have to come back with us now!"

"No."

"What?"

"No, Athrun. I'm your enemy now."

"But, Rin – what's going on?"

She tried to refrain from any emotion, but it came out anyways. "The last thing I want to do is fight you, Athrun! But I have to! I have no other choice!"

"Rin," Athrun protested, "you'll be safe with us, I promise! They won't hurt you! I won't let them hurt you!"

Rin was moved to tears by his words. "You don't understand," she sobbed. "You can't do anything for me now! If I don't stay with them – if I don't try to fight you – just please, don't talk to me anymore! I'm your enemy now, and that's that!" With that, she shut of her communication system and fired a beam at his cockpit. Athrun dodged, just like she knew he would. If she could just keep this up…Azrael would see that she was aiming there, and would have no problem with that. She knew Athrun would dodge or block every shot in advance, but Azrael would just think it's because Athrun's a better pilot than her. That way she would avoid both punishment and hurting Athrun.

Suddenly someone's beam destroyed her missiles in mid-air. Rin turned to see Kira on the scene as well, along with Dearka and Mu backing up the three ships. One of them was unfamiliar to her. It was pink in color and very nice-looking. She vaguely wondered who was captain of it, but had no time to think about it because Kira was onto her immediately.

"Rin, good, you're safe," he said through the communicator, moving towards her. "We've all been worried – hey!"

Rin fired a beam at him, and he raised his shield at the last minute to block it.

"Rin! Rin, what are you doing?" Kira asked, bewildered.

Rin's whole body was shaking now. She couldn't bear it. "We're enemies now," she told Kira. "We've always been enemies. I admit I never fully wanted to kill you, but now, I have to." This time, the remorse she felt was almost unbearable. She stopped mid-strike, unable to continue.

That was when Athrun attached himself to the Harmony, and began to drag her back to the pink ship. She tried with all her might to break free, but she couldn't.

"Let go of me, please!" she yelled at Athrun. "I'm not coming with you!"

"You're just distressed!" Athrun argued back. "I know that you think we won't be able to protect you from them but we will! You're just scared right now, I understand – stop breaking free!" He tightened his grip.

"You have no idea!" she shrieked at him. "You don't know what they've done to me – you don't understand at all!"

Then Orga and Clotho fired massive beams at Athrun, causing him to lose his grip on Rin. "Hey, you, you're staying with us!" Clotho yelled.

"I know that!" she retorted, and that was when Azrael contacted her.

He was yelling in frustration now. "If you don't start fighting properly, you'll get it big time!"

Her heart gave a jolt at those words, and she wiped her tears away and began to fight. She fought as hard as she could. It was her, Shani, Clotho, and Orga all against Athrun and Kira. She forgot all about trying to take it easy on him. Azrael knew she'd been faking before. She had to try with all her might to destroy Athrun and Kira.

Suddenly the Dominion took a terrible hit, and ZAFT ships were detected in the area. Rin and the others were ordered to retreat for the time being by the captain, Natarle Badgeroule, and she did so with a mixture of relief and dread: relief because she was leaving the battlefield, dread because she knew punishment was on its way.

She met Azrael on the bridge. He said to her, "I admit I was very disappointed in you. I thought you'd prove to be much better than that. Shall I give you a second chance?"

Rin looked at him with wide eyes. "Please," she whispered.

He nodded. "All right then, I'll give you one chance. But if you show any sign of shirking from your next battle, you'll get it much worse. For today, however, you're good."

Rin gave a curt nod and left the room. As soon as she was in the hallway, she burst into tears. Tears of relief that she was spared punishment, tears of anger for Azrael, and tears of grief, because she knew she'd have to fight Athrun and Kira again.


	15. Chapter 15

OMG I'm getting so many reviews yay! Heh, for me, 4 is a lot. And so I have now decided that there will be another update only when I receive 4 (FOUR) reviews, not 3 anymore. Okay? So if ya want a fast update, review!

Thank yous:  
Merffles: Thanks very much!  
cynical.life: No! You must drop down to your knees and beg this time around! Muahaha! (And I'm dead serious, too)  
asucaginluv: Don't worry, I feel the need to update anyways. But I need your reviews to do so!  
ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice: You have no idea how long it is to write your name in every thank you...heh just kidding lol thanks for the support!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Seed...or do I? evil snicker Nah, I really don't. Enjoy everybody!

* * *

CHAPTER FIFTEEN – BERSERK TORTURE

Rin sat in the Harmony, making adjustments and repairing her mobile suit single-handedly. Azrael had ordered no one to touch her mobile suit in exchange for her alliance, and Rin liked it better that way. That way, her machine stayed safe. That was the most important thing.

Shani, Clotho, and Orga were all nearby, watching mechanics adjust their mobile suits. Orga went over to Rin. "What'cha doing?" he asked.

"What does it look like?" she snapped. "I'm fixing my machine."

"Hmm." Orga inspected the system as Rin was repairing a tear in the cockpit's seat. When she noticed him doing this, she smacked him across the face and shut the system off. Orga gave a startled yelp and glared at her. "What was that for?" he demanded.

"Get your filthy paws off my ship," Rin retorted. "Go fix your own."

"_Go fix your own_," Orga mimicked in an ugly voice as he left the cockpit. "Well, I don't need to," he added smugly. "I've got the mechanics. '_Go fix your own,_' my ass."

But if there was one thing Rin was proud of, it was that she finished all of her repairs and adjustments before the mechanics working on the Calamity, Forbidden, and the Raider did, which wiped the smirk off of Orga's face for at least twenty minutes.

Once Orga had regained his usual composure, the four teens were summoned to the bridge. Azrael told them of the plan: they were going to attack.

"Even with ZAFT ships in the area?" exclaimed Rin. "But that could prove to be suici–"

"Shut up, girl," Azrael ordered, and Rin instantly stopped, knowing full well that the look in his eyes said, _cross me and suffer_. He continued, "The ZAFT ships haven't been moving. As long as they don't move, we have the chance to finish things this time. Got that?"

"Yes," they all answered in unison.

"Yes, _sir_," he corrected with a funny smile.

"Yes, sir," they repeated, but Rin merely mumbled it.

And off they went to board their mobile suits. Rin boarded the Harmony without saying a word to anyone. She didn't even listen when Azrael issued her a warning through the CIC. She didn't remember launching, either, but suddenly she was back into the void of space, face-to-face with the Justice once more.

"Rin, you have to come back!" Athrun protested as soon as she locked on to him. He didn't even raise a weapon. "Rin, you'll be safe with us!"

"No I won't!" she retorted, firing a beam. He made an easy dodge.

"You think I don't understand, but I do!" Athrun tried again. "I know they're hurting you. But we can make it better! There are good doctors on the Eternal. You'll be okay!"

So the Eternal was the pink ship's name. But Rin had no time to think about that. "Athrun, just shut up, please!" she yelled. "Just leave me – hey, where's Kira?" She had just noticed that the Freedom was nowhere in sight. Come to think of it, neither were the Buster or the Strike.

A little dejectedly, Athrun said, "They're not here right now. But if you really want to kill me –" he blocked some shots from the three boys and dodged some more "– I won't fight you. I won't fight back against you. Kill me if you want, but I don't want to see you getting hurt."

Rin was crying again. She couldn't stand it anymore. Was someone her age ever ready for this kind of ordeal? "Athrun, you have to fight back! I don't want to kill you – ugh!"

Clotho had hit her in the back. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he yelled at her, firing beams at Athrun. "Fight him, damn it!"

And that was when it happened. Pain became Rin's universe, like it did whenever she was punished. The unbearable pain that signalled her to use Azrael's drugged water. But why now? She had taken some before boarding her mobile suit – hadn't she?

When Rin thought back and realized she hadn't, she practically lost it. She headed back for the Dominion as fast as she could, gasping in pain.

"What are you doing, Harmony?" the captain demanded.

"I – need – water," Rin panted. "Let me in!"

"All right," the captain said with a sigh. "Let her in."

"Don't."

Rin gasped and saw Azrael's angry face on the communicator. "You are not coming back in until this fight is over," he ordered. "I don't care if you fight in this condition – but that's what you get for not listening to me!"

"No, please, let me in!" Rin begged, crying again.

"NO! NOW GO AND FIGHT!"

Rin turned back to the battle, gasping with each breath, gripping the controls so tightly that one of them actually bent. There, she saw that Kira had returned, and was helping Athrun fight Orga, Clotho, and Shani. He gave a start when he saw Rin.

"Rin, what are you doing?" he asked. "Why are you fighting for them?"

"Stop it!" Rin moaned. "Stop talking to me!"

Athrun clued in, and he and Kira both gasped when they saw her face so full of suffering on their screens. Rin was also surprised to see the look in their eyes. They were strangely blank…it made Rin remember of their abilities with the SEED. That was probably it.

"Rin!" Kira gasped.

"What – what did they do to you?" Athrun barely managed to get his words out.

"You see!" Rin yelled as her current teammates battled her former teammates. She was in so much pain that she couldn't control her mobile suit – even talking was a struggle. "This is why – this is why I can't come back!"

Kira was shocked beyond words. He already seemed distracted, and this seemed to make it worse. Athrun, however, grew more determined. "Whatever they've done to you, we'll fix it! I promise you we will!"

At that moment, Rin believed him so much that she almost started to follow him, but Azrael's words hung in her head: _And I'm the only one who keeps the drug_.

"NO!" she yelled. "No, you can't fix me! Just please…_LEAVE ME ALONE!_" With that, she smashed the communicator, and everything changed.

She was conscious of the pain, but it suddenly seemed distant somehow. All she saw were the targets in front of her, the targets that needed to be eliminated. If she could eliminate them, the pain would stop completely…

She didn't know what she was doing, but she was aware of her fingers moving around and pressing all kinds of controls. She didn't know where she was going or aiming, but she was flying through the air with incredible speed and shooting with incredible power. A single thought crossed her mind at one point: _The ZAFT ships are advancing, and they've dumped a pod into space_. But that didn't matter to her. The universe went out around her, illuminating only her two targets…neither was fighting back, and they were simply dodging her teammates' blows. But one of them…one of them wasn't moving. Its back was towards her…it was the perfect opportunity…she fired a massive beam…the mobile suit plunged forwards…Rin grinned in delight…it was working, she'd be free soon…she moved in to deliver the final blow…

"STOP IT, RIN, THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Something shoved her aside, and Rin snapped out of it. The Justice was in front of her, covering for the Freedom…the mobile suit she had almost destroyed…

"Rin," Athrun said through the communicator, which surprisingly still had some life in it. His voice was calm and steady. "Please, stop it. Our ships are ordering a retreat. You'd better go."

He turned to support the Freedom to bring it back to the Eternal, and Dearka in the Buster covered for them. Rin was aware of yelling from Natarle, ordering her back, but she paid no attention. Had she just done what she thought she did? Did she really come that close…to killing Kira?

"No," she whispered, looking at her shaking hands. The pain was terrible, but in her shock she hardly noticed it. "No…it can't be…I can't have…I…no…"

She heard the captain's voice as though from a great distance, "Somebody bring her back."

She was barely aware of the Raider coming towards her. She hardly noticed that soon she was moving again.

The reverend Malkio's voice echoed in her head: _I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up being a bearer of the SEED. I believe you have the abilities to push yourself that far._

Had she really done it? Had she unlocked the powers of the SEED? That would explain how she had completely lost control of herself. And she'd already done it once before, she realized. When they were leaving Orb…

"No…" Rin moaned, unable to face the truth. "I can't be…what have I…why me? Why…why did I…no…"

All of her thoughts were jumbled and numb, but one came back again and again, clearer and clearer with each second she thought about it: _If I can't control myself…that makes me a berserker…and it also means…I'll kill people…without wanting to…what if I had killed Kira and Athrun? I didn't really want to kill them. To kill someone without really wanting to, without realizing what you were doing…can I take that kind of pain?_

It was worse than the pain enveloping her body right now. It was a terrible bruise to the soul.

Someone opened her cockpit door, and Shani stepped in, holding a glass of water. Rin took it with shaking hands, but she shook so badly that half the water spilled. She took the rest down in one gulp, and the physical pain subsided. Shani left, muttering, "Klutz."

But Rin didn't pay any attention. She was still in shock was Orga and Clotho came by. They said things to her, but she didn't hear any of it. When they left a few minutes later, Rin was in the same position she had been in before: eyes wide, head looking down at her shaking hands.

At one point, Rin was dimly aware of someone – the captain, guiding her to her quarters. Rin was helped into bed, and she was left alone.

She lay in bed for what seemed like an eternity, staring at the ceiling, hands still shaking. Then the tears came out, and she cried herself to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Wow the reviews came so quickly! I feel so loved you have no idea...so I'm changing the updates to five reviews. Once I get five reviews, I shall update. So review again! I will be forever in your debt! Oh yeah, and a warning in advance, this chapter is not as big as the previous ones, so sorry if you don't like it, but I still want five reviews before I update anyways. If you can review even the bad chapters, then it really shows that you like this fic.

Thank yous:  
cynical.life: I love the idea, but I've already got everything planned out. Sorry! Review anyways! And by the by I already reviewed your new chappie a while ago.  
Sword of the soul: Thanks very much for the compliment! I hope I don't disappoint you!  
Merffles: I hope Ireunite them,too. . Heh heh...  
asucagainluv: Um...I hope you don't cry, but yeah...you might. Possibly not though. Thanks for the review!  
ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice: No, the SEED doesn't have that kind of power. It's just that when she's in SEED mode, she kinda forgets about the pain in a way...but she can't control herself, so it's not a good option.

Disclaimer: Seed of Gundam own not I. Don't ask why I switched the words around.I'm in a strange mood.

* * *

CHAPTER SIXTEEN – BATTLE PREPARATIONS

Every few hours, Rin would reach out and take a sip of water. That was the only movement she'd made since Natarle had brought her back to her room. And judging by how many times she felt the need to drink, she guessed that she had been alone in her room for twelve hours. She felt almost as if she was in some sort of trance. She didn't feel like doing anything. And then came the knock on her door, and someone stepped in.

It was a female crewmember, but Rin couldn't remember ever seeing her before. She had blue eyes and reddish hair in a half-ponytail. She was also carrying a food tray.

She brought the tray over to the table. "Ah, are you Rin?" she asked, and Rin noted the nervous tone the girl used that matched her expression.

Rin nodded.

"Lieutenant Badgeroule asked me to bring this to you," the girl said, indicating the food. "She said you'd be hungry, and that you need to eat to keep up your strength."

Rin nodded again. She didn't feel like talking. Or maybe it was because she had no voice left.

The girl turned to leave. "Uh, by the way…I'm Fllay. Fllay Allster." And then she was out the door.

"Hey, Fllay!"

Rin had finally found her voice. Fllay turned back to look at her, surprised to hear her speak.

"Yes? Do you need anything?"

Rin shook her head. "Oh, no, not that. It's just…I was wondering where you came from," she confessed. "I don't remember seeing you on the ship before."

Fllay managed a small smile, but fear flickered in her eyes. "I was on the life pod you guys recovered."

"Oh, I see." Rin vaguely remembered the pod ZAFT had dumped into space. _Someone must have retrieved it_, she realized.

"Rin," Fllay began, "do you know where the Archangel is?"

Rin gave a start. The Archangel! "Why do you ask?" she questioned.

Fllay's lower lip trembled. "It's just that…I used to be on that ship…and I wanted to see everyone again…and Kira…"

Rin gave a small gasp. This girl knew Kira?

But her excitement quickly faded. "You're out of luck," Rin told her, downcast. "This ship is an enemy of the Archangel. I'm sorry. You won't be able to talk to them."

Fllay looked sadly at the floor. "Oh…"

That's when Rin thought of another question. "Fllay, do you know what this ship is doing right now?"

Fllay nodded. "We're at the Earth Forces lunar base, on the moon. They're getting ready for a new operation…but I don't know exactly what."

Rin nodded. "Thanks, Fllay." She reached for her food tray. She hadn't realized how hungry she was.

"You're welcome." And Fllay left the room.

* * *

Rin later found out from Shani that Fllay had been rescued carrying a disc containing information on the n-jammer canceller, and that the earth alliance was going to use that info to use nukes against the PLANTS.

"What?" she exclaimed, jumping up (she'd been sitting when she heard the news).

Shani smiled. "Yep. I can't wait to see all of the explosions."

This piece of news shocked Rin more than anything ever had. Nukes on the PLANTS…that would mean the total annihilation of all the coordinators!

After hearing that, she kept to herself in her room. While everyone was preparing for the new operation, she stayed hunched over on her bed, lost in her thoughts. It was very lonely, and she hated it, but she just imagined that Athrun was with her, and she felt better. Better, at least, until she remembered that she tried to kill him and Kira. She sighed as she thought back to her little talk with Athrun in the piano room before leaving Orb. _Just when I felt ready to make things right again, this had to happen. What if I never get the chance? And what about Athrun? I want to see him again so badly…just to talk to him…why did this have to happen to me? And now we're going to attack the PLANTS with nukes…and there's nothing I can do to stop it. Nicol, what do I do now?_

"The Dominion is heading out. All hands to level two battle stations. I repeat, the Dominion is heading out. All hands to level two battle stations."

The alert blared through all the rooms in the Dominion, causing Rin to give a small jump in surprise. Then she slowly headed towards the Harmony and boarded it.

Shani, Orga, and Clotho were deep in conversation in their mobile suits. Rin decided to listen in.

"What?" Shani was saying. "Why aren't we headed for the PLANTS?"

"We're going to Boaz first," Clotho explained.

Boaz was a base near the PLANTS. In any normal situation, Rin would believe this to be an incredible act of stupidity. Boaz was so well defended that not even the whole Earth Alliance army could take it down. But the fact that they had nukes completely changed the situation.

"Why? If we go to the PLANTS first, we can get rid of more coordinators."

"But if we go to Boaz first," Orga reasoned, "then ZAFT will see the destructive power we have and call a truce. We'll win the war!"

Rin couldn't listen anymore. She couldn't stand being where she was. She'd have to fight the PLANTS, and help destroy them. That would mean destroying her home, her parents…it was the thought of her parents and friends that got her crying again. She'd already lost Nicol. She wouldn't be able to bear it if she saw her parents die along with her home. And it was all because of Azrael. Azrael had kept his word, and he did not punish her any further. However, Rin still hated him for treating her the way he did. Surely he'd realized that she was much younger than everyone else. Yet he didn't care. He was a heartless villain who deserved to die.

"All hands to level one battle stations. All hands to level one battle stations," someone's voice said over the intercom, and Rin knew that the operation to destroy Boaz was under way.

Azrael was in contact with her before she took off: "Don't blow this, Rin. Remember, every little action you make will have consequences. You've been pretty good so far, but don't push your luck. Anything remotely suspicious and you'll be punished again."

"I know," she snapped, taking one last swig of her water before she left, just in case the battle went on for a while.

"The course is clear," her CIC told her. "Proceed with the launch."

"Rin Amarfi, Harmony launching!" And she launched.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the ship known as the Eternal, Athrun and Kira were deep in conversation with the captain, none other than Lacus Clyne, and Commander Waltfeld.

"Our sources say Boazis being attacked by the Earth Forces," Waltfeld said gravely.

"Boaz?" Kira asked. "Why would they do that?"

"Boaz isn't a base to be taken lightly," Waltfeld agreed. He frowned. "There must be something else to it. The Earth Alliance must have some trick up their sleeve, something that will ensure them of a good winning chance."

"What do you mean?" asked Athrun. "What would they have that could take down Boaz?"

"I just spoke with Commander La Flaga, and he thinks that they might have nukes," was the answer.

"No!" Athrun and Kira both gasped. Lacus bowed her head.

"What of the n-jammer?" she asked.

"Commander La Flaga thinks it was that girl," Waltfeld explained. " 'The key that's supposed to end this war.' The Earth Forces have that key now. What if it's…the n-jammer canceller?"

Athrun and Kira's eyes were wide. "No way," Kira said.

"If that's the case," said Athrun, quickly judging the situation, "then Boaz won't last much longer."

Lacus' head was still bowed as she was thinking hard. Finally she raised her head. "We must hurry to help Boaz," she ordered determinedly. "If we hurry, there's a good chance we'll make it in time. Commander Waltfeld, please alert the Archangel and the Kusanagi."

"Will do," he replied, and got to work.

Lacus looked from Athrun to Kira. "You two will have to be extremely careful from this point on. You know that, right?"

Athrun nodded. "Don't worry about us," Kira said. "We'll be fine. You be careful too, Lacus."

The boys hurried to board their mobile suits. Both were concerned about protecting Boaz, but there was one other thing on their minds:

_If we get there in time, there's a chance we might be able to save Rin, too_.


	17. Chapter 17

Huh, what do you know, my chapters are getting shorter again. Ah, well. The next ones will lengthen out, I promise. The last chapters are about five pages each, unlike these ones. Yeah, and I know the last chapter wasn't all that super, but every story needs a chapter like that, you know? Five reviews and I update!

Thank yous:  
asucagainluv: Wow...your hyperness amazes me. I was so hyper yesterday during school around lunch and I was laughing almost hysterically for five minutes straight. It really scared my friends.  
Merffles: Yeah, actually, I am building up for an ending. Thanks for reviewing!  
Spellcasterz: Uh, possible pairings between Rin and Athrun or Rin and Kira. I've got every single detail for this story figured out, except for that. Why? I don't know. Maybe I'll make it a triangle, heh...no, I really don't know yet.  
RainPure: Thank you for your switch to review-ism! And to answer your question (which you answered partially correct anyways), when you're feeling as helpless as Rin is, it's kind of hard to think of good solutions. But yeah.  
cynical.life: I know, I know, but I needed that chapter anyways. Hope ya like this one better.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Seed. Thank you and enjoy this chapter.

* * *

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN – TERRIBLE DESTRUCTION

Rin scanned the battlefield. All around her were ZAFT mobile armors, surrounding their territory and firing beams to keep their intruders away. Rin made simple dodges and struck one of them dead-on with her sword. Then, not pausing to watch what happened to it, she zoomed away and attacked another machine, explosions ringing out in her ears. As long as she couldn't see herself hurting her own kind, she'd be okay. Her stomach was churning painfully, but she ignored it and pushed herself to keep fighting.

_I have to keep fighting_, she told herself. _The hardest battle is to stay alive…and this is what I have to do to make it so_.

* * *

"Athrun Zala, Justice launching!"

"Kira Yamato, Freedom, let's do it!"

Athrun and Kira launched ahead of the Eternal. There was still a bit of distance to cover before they got close enough to help Boaz, but they could see it up ahead. It seemed to be holding up okay. If they could just hold up a bit longer, everything would work out.

Those were Kira's thoughts. But all Athrun could think was, _Rin, are you there fighting_?

* * *

Rin fought hard, but at the same time, she hid her hesitation. She wasn't just hesitating because she was fighting and killing her own kind, but because she didn't want to lose control this time. She couldn't release the SEED again. Last time, it had been terrible. She never wanted to feel that way again.

Soon after, she got word from the Dominion to clear the path for the peacemaker force. Rin hesitated. The peacemaker force carried the nukes. It was all part of the strategy. She had followed her instructions carefully so far, but…

"I can't do it," she whispered to herself, tears coming to her eyes. "I just can't."

Azrael's sudden voice in the communicator made her jump in her seat. "Rin, what are you waiting for?" he yelled. "Don't chicken out and disappoint me now! Help clear the path or else you're going to get it big time!"

Rin closed her eyes and shook herself over. Then she hurried after the boys to clear the path.

* * *

"Almost there," Kira said to Athrun. They were nearing firing range, and could see what was going on perfectly.

"Yeah," Athrun agreed.

"Athrun?"

"Yeah?"

"Forget about her."

"What!" Athrun yelled.

"Forget about Rin," Kira advised. "We have to protect Boaz. That's our priority right now."

"But I can't leave her!" Athrun protested. "Who knows what she's going through?"

"I'm worried about her, too!" Kira exclaimed angrily, surprising Athrun. He took a calmer tone. "But we have to concentrate on the task at hand – no!"

"What?" asked Athrun, but he already knew.

The nukes were heading for Boaz.

* * *

The path was clear. There were still a large amount of ZAFT soldiers around the base, protecting it, but there was a clear pathway for the nukes to hit. They were launched, and Rin saw them get closer and closer to Boaz…closer and closer to bringing out destruction…

A ZAFT soldier in a GINN flew at her, firing beams. Rin dodged, not really focusing on the battle. She saw the nukes getting closer and closer until…

"RIN!"

Rin looked to see the Justice and the Freedom zooming towards the base. They fired beams, trying to destroy the nukes before they hit, but…

"THE NUKES!" she screamed.

* * *

Athrun and Kira fired as many beams and missiles as they could at the same time, destroying as many nukes as they could. But if even one nuclear missile hit…

That was when Rin screamed, and they knew instantly why.

They'd missed one. One nuke, and that was all it took. Boaz exploded in a shower of neon lights and loud bangs. It was almost like fireworks, in a way. But these ones weren't the kinds for show. It was a symbol of how many people had just met a terrible end.

"No," gasped Kira, staring in shock.

Athrun, too, was shocked, but he shook it over and replaced wide eyes with determined ones. _Rin_. And he flew forwards, leaving a surprised Kira behind.

"Athrun, don't!"

* * *

"NO!"

Rin cried out as she saw the last nuke hit Boaz. Everything exploded in a mixture of crazy neon lights and smoke, completely destroying everything. She could hear Shani's admiration of the pretty lights, but she was far too shocked.

"Too late…they were too late…" Rin floated in disbelief. Tears stung her eyes, and her vision darkened at the edges. She felt her eyes closing.

"Rin, look out!" she heard Athrun yell.

And the ZAFT GINN she had previously been fighting landed a clean blow, just missing the cockpit and slicing off the lower half of her machine. Then, before she could react, the head of the Harmony was blasted off.

"AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she screamed. Everything shook horribly, and she felt herself lurch forward and then back again, her head smashing against the controls and the hard back of her seat.

The world went pitch black.

* * *

Pain had become her universe. Not the kind of pain Azrael inflicted on her, but the pain of battle wounds, though nothing seemed broken, but she couldn't be sure. After a quick inward check, she realized she was really okay. Rin slowly opened her eyes. Her vision swam before her and her head hurt a little, and she couldn't make out anything. Then, very slowly, things started to clear, and she found herself staring into Athrun's worried face.

"A…Athrun?" she croaked in disbelief.

His face broke into a smile. "Rin, you're all right. Thank goodness."

Rin sat bolt upright in the Eternal's infirmary, causing her head to swim so much she nearly fainted. Athrun caught her and gently lowered her.

SMACK!

Rin had slapped him across the face. Athrun jumped back in surprise. "What was that for?" he demanded.

Rin felt tears in her eyes again. "Take me back! I have to get back to Azrael!" She was beginning to panic. Depending on how long she'd been unconscious, she'd start feeling the pain again sometime soon. She had to avoid that. She needed her water!

"Azrael can't hurt you here," Athrun soothed. "We'll protect you with our lives. Don't worry. He won't get his hands on you again."

"Yes he can!" she shrieked, having completely lost control. She was crying, too, which only made the situation worse for her. "I need to get back – I need my water!"

"We have water," Athrun told her calmly, trying to restrain her. "I'll get you a glass –"

"No, you don't understand!" she screamed. "It's not regular water I need – it's – it's –"

Athrun realized how much she was trembling, and how scared she was, and that there really was something wrong here, and asked, trying to becalm and understanding,"What? Please tell me."

"My drugged water," she choked out, coughing and sobbing openly. "He drugged me, Athrun… He…he's the only one that can help me now… I have to go back…please…"

Athrun helped her sit up, but he did not do anything else. He was terribly surprised, but he did not help her out of bed. He merely said, "Listen, Rin, everything we'll be okay. We'll get our doctors to – Rin? Rin, what's wrong?"

Rin had started to shudder uncontrollably. Her muscles clenched and she clutched at the bed sheets, breathing hard and gasping in pain. Her face went white.

She looked at him with wide, pleading eyes. "Please –"

"RIN!" Athrun caught her just before she hit the sheets.

Kira came running in. "Is everything okay? I heard screaming…" Then he saw Rin's motionless form in Athrun's arms.

"She fainted," Athrun said, and he explained the situation.

"Do we take her back?" Kira asked, genuinely worried.

But Athrun shook his head. "Get the doctors," he said in a resolute tone. "We're gonna get that drug out of her system."


	18. Chapter 18

Hey, why are my chapters all so effin short? I could have sworn they were getting longer again...maybe it's only the next chapter. Hmph. But thank you for the reviews, and here's my next update!

Thank yous:  
Merffles: It's not true that Athrun cares about Rin more than Kira does...this chapter proves it.  
Spellcasterz: I have no idea what the drug is called. I just know that Orga, Shani and Clotho are like "extended" naturals or something like that and they need that drug to survive...something like that. They actually don't mention the drug in the dub anime (that's all I've seen and I'm not sure about the original), but if you watch and see them seemingly suffering while they weren't fighting, it's because they needed the drug. Azrael did that to them to keep them under his control, but he knew how long he could wait before giving them the drug. That's about the extent of my knowledge, sorry!  
asucagainluv: Wow...you reviewed twice, I'm touched. I think that pretty much shows that you like my story, and I'm really happy that you do!  
ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice: Read and find out. Actually, you might not...hint, hint  
Blitz12: My idea (seen in this chapter) probably doesn't seem all that realistic, but hey, they are coordinators and can do some pretty seemingly-unrealistic things, so yeah.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Seed, nor Azrael's drug (because it really does exist even though it has no name). Enjoy this chapter everybody! 5 reviews and I update!

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN – ATHRUN'S POWER 

"Are you sure about this?" Kira asked as he and Athrun walked down the main hall of the Eternal. "We don't even know what the drug is. And you heard her yourself – Azrael is the only man who owns it."

"I don't care," said Athrun, who was carrying Rin's limp body in his arms to the medic room. Her hair was spread out all over the place. Her face was chalk white and there were dark circles under her eyes. Her breathing was so light, she almost could have passed for being dead. "We have to save Rin. Are you telling me that you don't want to? That you don't care about her health? Look at her! We can't just do nothing!"

"Of course I want to help her!" Kira exclaimed angrily. There was a long pause, in which the only sounds produced were their light footsteps on the ceramic floor. "I just don't think the doctors – even if they are coordinators – will be up to it," he confessed as they turned a corner, drawing closer to their destination. "Are you sure this will work?"

"It will," Athrun assured him as he opened the door to the doctor's room. "It has to."

* * *

Athrun sat alone on a small wooden chair next to the operating room's door. He'd been kicked out of the room so that thedoctors could operate on Rin without distraction, despite his numerous protests and outbursts. 

"Do you even understand the gravity of this situation?" the head doctor argued. "Do you want us to make a mistake and potentially kill her?"

"I'm not going to disturb you!" Athrun screamed. "I just want to watch!"

"Absolutely not!" the doctor yelled back. "I can't afford to take any chances with a patient that has under a fifty percent chance of survival -"

Before he could finish his sentence, Kira had seized this moment of shock to drag Athrun out of the room with all of the force he could muster, which still was difficult because Athrun got over theshock just as they were almost out the door.With a grateful nod to Kira,the doctor locked the door behind them.

"What was that for?" he had raged at Kira.

Kira had answered calmly, "The doctors need their space. You know that."

"I wasn't going to get in their way!" he protested. "I just wanted to watch – I wanted to be there for her when it happened!"

"But you want the doctors to have the best rate of success, and us being there with them only makes it harder for them," Kira reasoned, still speaking in that calm, almost alien, voice.

Hearing Kira able to speak so calmly given the gravity of the situation triggered the last and most of Athrun's anger.

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO NONCHALANT ABOUT THIS?" he roared. "RIN IS GOING INTO AN OPERATION WITH A LESS THAN HAVE PERCENT CHANCE OF SUCCESS AND YOU - AND YOU ACT LIKE YOU DON'T CARE AT ALL! HOW CAN YOU BE SO HEARTLESS? She's in a strange room, all alone..." he trailed off after his voice began to shake so badly it threatened to completely go out on him. He looked at the ground, struggling to keep his tears under control (and succeeding), his shoulders heaving heavily.

Kira moved to put a hand on Athrun's shoulder, but stopped himself. "Damn it all!" he exclaimed angrily, and he took off, leaving Athrun staring in mild surprise.

_He's worried as much as I am,_ he reflected as he returned back to the present, alone on that wooden chair that seemed to cave in with his weight. _I shouldn't have yelled at him like that. It's funny,_ he thought suddenly with a sad sort of smile. _Normally, I would be the calm one and Kira would go crazy. Yet today, it's the other way around. He's matured so much during the course of this war, and I feel like I've gotten nowhere._ He stole another glance at the closed door. He twisted the handle to find that it was still locked, and sighed with disappointment. Then he opened his briefcase to look at the piano sheets that used to belong to Nicol. _I hope she's doing okay in there. She _has_ to be okay. I've already lost Nicol, and I'm not about to lose her, too_.

"Athrun, are you there?"

Athrun looked up in surprise at the screen on the wall across from him. Lacus Clyne's face was on the screen, facing him. She was very serious, and though normally Athrun would have instantly demanded what was wrong, his usual dutiful enthusiasm seemed to have transformed into a monotonous, uncaring attitude and left the need for duty behind.

"What is it, Lacus?" he asked without any hint of expression.

"How is she?" Lacus asked, but Athrun sensed that this wasn't what she had called for.

"She's not awake yet, I don't think," he answered dully. "I haven't heard anything ffrom the doctors yet. But her chances aren't good to begin with."

Lacus looked down sadly. "I see." But she lost her care for the situation immediately and became very business-like."Well, Athrun, I hate to force this upon you, but I need you to use the Justice and fight to protect the PLANTS, the Earth Forces' next target. We must head out immediately, and I need you to be ready."

"But what about Rin?" Athrun protested worriedly, furious that Lacus had todo this tohim. "Someone should be with her – when she wakes up –"

"I know," Lacus interrupted, "but this is urgent. So you may not be with her in body, but your thoughts will be with her. Please, Athrun. We need you."

_Rin needs me more_, he wanted to argue, but he simply sighed and said, "Okay, I'm on my way."

He stood up and made to close his briefcase, but something stopped him. Instead, he left it on the chair, with the piano sheets spread out on top of it. Then he took off for his mobile suit.

_You can do it, Rin. I promise you, this will make everything better. I won't let you suffer anymore._

* * *

"How are we doing?"

"Pretty good so far. We've identified the drug."

"So all we have to do is drain it from her body now?"

"Yes…well, we'll see."

"What do you mean?"

"Take a guess."

"Oh. I see. Well, then, let's avoid that as much as possible."

"It all depends on her blood."

* * *

_Nicol…Where am I? Oh, I see now…we're back home, in the piano room. You're playing the piano again, aren't you? Yeah…that's why you won't answer me. You're too busy making music. You always do that. Even though it annoys me so much…why can't you give it a rest? Why can't you do something quieter? Yes, I know that you can play quietly. Let me rephrase that: Why can't you do something in silence instead?_

_There you are, giving me that look again. That seemingly sweet, carefree smile…because you know I'll never be able to take you away from your piano. And I hate you for it…because I know that you know this. You'll never leave your piano…you'll always play it, day after day, until you realize your dream…and I'll always yell at you again and again for not doing something quieter…and we'll all live together with Mom and Dad, away from the war and from all of the pain that it inflicts…_

_And nothing bad would ever happen to us…_

_There you are, smiling again. That's right. You agree with me, for once. We'll all stay here forever. Nothing's going to happen to us. Not now, not ever. And that's how it'll be._

_You just keep playing that piano…_

* * *

"Doctor, we have a problem!"

"Is she reacting to the loss?"

"I-I think so, Doctor!"

"Darn it…let's get her some fluids to make up for it."

"Already on it, sir!"

* * *

_Ah…this is so relaxing…out here on the balcony, in the nice, warm weather…the bright sun…the cool wind in my hair…and you're still inside, playing the piano again…but this time, I don't find I mind so much. The music seems to flow with the atmosphere, intertwining with no beginning or end…it's actually nice, today. You know, Nicol, I think I'm starting to get used to you playing the piano…Hey! Don't smile like that! You're still as annoying as ever…yep, that's right…tee hee!_

_I love the weather today…you should come out and join me, Nicol. I think you'd like it. Come on, get off that piano for just a few minutes! I swear I won't break it…ha, I'm dead serious, Nicol. I swear by the pain of death that I won't hurt your piano…no? Fine then. Keep playing._

_Just keep playing your piano…_

* * *

"We're losing her, Doctor! Her body can't take it!"

"Keep trying! Does she need more blood?"

"I think so - yes!"

"What type is she?"

"Uh, she's AB, Doctor!"

"Get her some blood, now! Hurry! It doesn't what kind right now at this stage…"

"Right away Doctor! Here!"

"Damn it... Come on, kid…fight it…"

* * *

"What?"

Athrun gave a jolt inside the cockpit of the Justice. For a moment, everything around him seemed to stop. Every beam shooting through space, every mobile suit charging for the other...everything froze for him in that instant. What was that feeling? Like something was going horribly wrong…

Rin.

Something was wrong with Rin.

Was she dying? It couldn't be!

_No, Rin!_ Athrun raged inwardly, as though he would be able to transmit his thoughts to her while the doctors worked on her. _You have to do this! I know you can get through this!_

* * *

_You're still playing that piano, smiling as always. It's so relaxing, Nicol. It's so much fun… _

"Rin! Rin, can you hear me?"

_Huh? Who was that? Who's interrupting me…? Nicol, was that you? Hey, why don't you answer? And…and why did you stop playing? Nicol? Nicol, where'd you go!_

"Rin, I don't know if you can hear me, but…you need to get through this!"

_Nicol…don't go…don't leave without me…NICOL!_

"Rin! Rin, please…don't give up now!"

_What? Who's this? Who's talking? Who are you? You seem…so familiar to me, but…_

"I promised you…I promised I'd help you…I promised you'd be safe with me…so don't throw it all away now that you've come this far!"

_A-Athrun? Is that…is that you, Athrun?_

"Rin? You can hear me?"

_Athrun! It's you, Athrun! But…what's going on? Where did Nicol go? Why are you here? Nicol and I were…we were…_

"No, Rin, you were dreaming. You need to come back to reality now. Okay?"

_B-but…how do you…how do I know if you're telling the truth? What if you're trying to trick me?_

"I'm not. I promise."

_But I can't remember anything…I have no way of knowing…_

"You remembered me, right? Think. Kira and I got the doctors to help you. They're trying to get that drug out of your body, remember? Don't lose touch of reality. You have to keep going…for Kira, me, everyone, yourself…and Nicol, too. Please, Rin! You have to live!"

_I have to live? But I want to see Nicol again…I want to be with him forever…_

"Please, Rin! Don't die!"


	19. Chapter 19

Well, I must say I'm kinda disappointed. I thought I'd get five reviews much faster than that...but anyways, I got five, so I'm updating.

Thank yous:  
Merffles: Aren't you getting a bit ahead of yourself? Rin has to survive first.  
asucagainluv: Yeah, I think so too, but I don't know yet...we'll see.  
ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice: Read and see!  
Spellcasterz: Well, I gave it that title because I think it well suited what Athrun was trying to do. Somehow, he was actually able to speak with Rin during her operation, and so I guess I called it his power since with it he was potentially able to help her.Good question though!  
Sword of the soul: Well, it's actually up to the readers whether or not there will be a happy ending or no. That's the one part I haven't decided yet.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing! Not even the clothes on my back! It's true, they belong to my mom...we're the same size. Five reviews till I update! Enjoy!

* * *

CHAPTER NINETEEN – THE FINAL STAGE PART 1

"WHAT!"

Rin sat bolt upright. She looked around with sharp movements, causing her hair to swish in her face. Two doctors stood at the side of the bed she'd been in…

"What? What am I doing here? Where's Athrun? What happened? What –"

"Whoa, young lady, that's enough from you," said one of the doctors with a chuckle. "You're in no shape to be up and at it right now. We nearly lost you."

"Huh?" Rin was confused. She did a check of her body. She seemed healthy enough. She felt pretty hyper, too. What was the doctor talking about? What the heck had happened to her? Where was she, and what exactly was going on?

Then something popped up in the back of her mind. She remembered Azrael, and that evil smirk he would always wear on his face. She remembered Orga, Clotho, and Shani, the pilots she had fought alongside. While trying to destroy Athrun...

"On Athrun's request, we operated on you, to get the drug out of your body," the doctor's assistant explained. "Your body almost couldn't take it. You nearly died. We thought you were a goner…but you've got some willpower in you."

Things clicked in her head. She wasn't with Azrael anymore! She was in theEternal, the ship Athrun was on! And..."And the drug? Is it gone?" she asked in a hurry, her breath all choked up with the anticipation of what she thought had happened.

The doctor nodded, proud of his work. "As if it was never there in the first place. You're a strong girl."

Rin gasped in delight. She had done it! She had gotten rid of the drug!

_Not me,_ she realized suddenly. It wasn'tbecause of her._Athrun. _

_Where is he?_

She jumped out of bed without another word and took off out the door without leaving anyone anytime to protest and leaving the doctors absolutely speechless.

The assistant found his voice first. "She is one remarkable kid."

The doctor could only nod at first. Then he found he voice, but all he could say was, "Yeah.

"She really is."

* * *

"ATHRUN!" Rin cried, bursting through the doors of the bridge to find that the ship was in the middle of a huge combat. Beams and missiles flew parallel and perpendicular to the Eternal in a crazy frenzy, and a powerful male voice was issuing out orders.

The captain of the ship, who was shockingly Lacus Clyne, turned to face her. "Rin, you're awake already?" she asked, clearly surprised to see her up and about, but mainly that she had survived."But this isn't safe for you right now – we're in a big fight –"

"Freedom, Justice, get out of the way!" a familiar voice yelled, crackling with the static of a slightly broken communicator, directed for every Orb ship in the area. Yzak's voice, as she quickly recognized. "They're gonna fire GENESIS! Get out of the way!"

Rin gave a start. "The Justice?" she demanded."_Athrun_!"

And GENESIS fired.

Rin saw the beam shoot from somewhere in the PLANTS right by the ship as the crewmembers tried in a panic to get out of the way. They succeeded, but everything around them was exploding in blasts of bright light and a frenzy of hectic yells so that it made it impossible to see or hear what was going on.

Rin grabbed the communicator from one of the crewmembers, who gave a start and a protest, but Rin shoved him aside. "Athrun?" she yelled into it, her eyes wide with furious worry. "Athrun, can you –"

"Rin, that's enough," Lacus said in a commanding voice. The tone of hernormally gentle voice shockedRin, and she dropped the headset and turned to look at her.What she saw stunned her. Lacus was staring at the window, her eyes wide and frightened, seeming not at all to have belonged to a girl with such power in her voice. When she continued to speak, her voice was shaking. "There's too much interference with that beam right now…we won't be able to reach them."

Explosions continued to ring out all around them for another minute, during which Rin squeezed her eyes tightly so that she couldn't seewhat was going on. Then, slowly, everything calmed down until there were no sounds to be heard. Rin raced to the window, nearly stumbling, to see what was going on outside.

She let out a huge cry, after which she clapped a hand to her mouth. All around them were the remnants of mobile armors and other space weapons. Everything was in tatters – there seemed to be no survivors.

"A-Athrun?" she whispered to no one in particular, her eyes large and watering rapidly.

"Call all of our forces back," Lacus ordered. "We need to regroup."

A man Rin recognized as Commander Waltfeld (who she had originally thought to be dead but now knew otherwise) repeated the order to the crewmembers, who hurried to inform the Archangel and the Kusanagi.

Then two faces appeared on the screen: Athrun and Kira.

"Is everybody all right?" Kira asked gravely, and then he and Athrun gave a start. "Rin?"

"Rin!" Athrun exclaimed, breaking into a smile. "You're all – are you –?"

Rin smiled, the tears leaking down in her relief that they both survived the terrible blast. "I'm all better now," she said, trying hard to keep her voice steady.

Athrun and Kira gave her huge smiles. "Hang on," Kira said. "We're coming in."

Five minutes later, Rin and Lacus were joined on the bridge by Kira, Athrun, Cagalli from the Kusanagi, and Murrue Ramius from the Archangel. Rin received smiles and hugs from everyone for being okay, including Kira and Athrun, and she accepted these actions without complaint. But there were important matters to discuss, and the happy mood grew serious the instant Commander Waltfeld brought it up. Everyone was worried about what they had all witnessed – the tremendous power of the so-called ZAFT weapon, GENESIS. According to Erica Simmons, talking to them from the Kusanagi, it was a large gamma ray beam that, if fired there, could wipe out all life on Earth. It was a terribly dangerous weapon.

A heated discussion ensued, and it was ultimately decided that GENESIS had to be destroyed, and so did the nuclear missiles the Earth Forces were using. If not, the war would surely end with the total destruction of either the coordinators or the naturals. True peace would never be achieved. And nothing would ever change.

"Attention!" came a voice from the Archangel – Miriallia's voice. "The Earth Forces ships have begun their assault!"

Rin looked sadly out the bridge window, wishing wistfully for more time, and left the room with everyone else to go get ready. Cagalli and Murrue left to get to their own ships, and Rin knew Kira and Athrun were close behind her.

"Rin, hold it!"

Rin turned around just as Athrun reached her and grabbed her arm. "Yes?" she asked, wondering what he had stopped her for.

Athrun's face was etched with lines of worry. "Don't tell me you're going out to fight so soon!"

Rin looked at him weirdly. He didn't think she was capable! "Why shouldn't I?" she asked hotly. "I'm a good pilot. I'm ready for this!"

"You might think so, but your body isn't," Athrun argued. "You just had a huge operation. You almost didn't survive!"

Rin smiled. Given the gravity of the situation at hand, she knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't help it."I know that," she said. "So I want to thank you for what you did for me. I didn't think it was possible, you know. I was sure Azrael had found the perfect way to bind me to his will. And yet you found a way to break that tie. And even when it seemed like I was done for, you brought me back. And for that…" she leaned closer and hugged him, "I'm grateful."

Athrun said nothing. Had she looked up, she would have seen that he was too surprised to move.

Rin broke away quickly, feeling her cheeks heat up. She gave a sheepish smile. "Well, let's get going," she said happily, skipping off. "We've got a war to end!"

Athrun could only stare after her for a moment. Then he joined her with a grin. "All right."

* * *

"Rin Amarfi, Harmony launching!"

Rin leaped into the battlefield side-by-side with Athrun and Kira. Each of them was specially equipped with special armor and missiles to destroy many nukes at a time. But by the time they arrived on the battle scene, the nukes were already being launched. Quickly, the Freedom, Justice, and Harmony shot out as many missiles as they could, locking on to every single nuclear weapon and destroying them.

"Yes!" Exclaimed Rin after destroying about a third of the missiles – Athrun and Kira each had their own equal share too. "See, Athrun? I told you I'm fine!"

Athrun smiled and shook his head. "I guess you're recovering quicker than I thought."

Then Kira's voice broke in: "Athrun, Rin, the three machines!"

Rin turned to see none other than the Calamity, Forbidden, and the Raider heading their way, and Rin could tell they were mad.

"Hey, bitch, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Clotho yelled angrily. "You can't go back to them now! You traitor!"

He fired beams at her, as did Orga and Shani, echoing yells of rage, but Rin had worked with them long enough to figure out all of their moves, and dodging them all at once was no problem. In their fury, they fired even more beams, and this time Rin started countering them. Athrun and Kira joined her.

"I was never one of you!" Rin raged at them, firing about two dozen beams at the same time. "I hated you – all three of you!" She prepared to load one final beam at Shani, who was circling, trying to avoid Kira and Athrun's attacks, "_So get the hell outta my face_!"

SMASH!

Her beam hit Shani's control booth dead-on. She heard him scream as the communicator cackled and broke, and the Forbidden exploded. She felt a tiny pang of remorse knowing what this teen had been through by working for Azrael, but she knew that it had to be done. Besides, his death had been painless, quite unlike his life had been, and he was probably off to someplace better anyways. A world without war. And what a world that would be!

"Shani!" Orga exclaimed in shock, and upon hearing this, Rin snapped back to the reality in which she was fighting. Clotho said nothing, just firedfuriously at Rin. Rin, Kira and Athrun all fired back. Then she heard Kira gasp in surprise.

"Kira?" she asked, concerned. "What is it? Did you get hurt? Is your machine okay?"

"It's not that," Kira said. "Something's not right here. I'm going to checkit out." And the Freedom zoomed off in another direction, closer to the PLANTS.

"Kira!" Athrun yelled, and started to fly after him, but stopped. "Rin, will you be-?"

"Go!" she yelled at him,and Athrun nodded and flew off. Rin watched as the Justice became a speck in the distance, where more explosions were taking place.

She turned back to face her enemies. Clotho in the Raider. Orga in the Calamity. Two teens under Azrael's terrible influence, who once fought on the same side as her.

But not her allies. Never allies. And they would never fight on her side again.

As she faced them, and there was a momentary pause from firing, she couldn't help but grin as her heart started to beat faster.

"Well, boys, it's just the three of us now," she said.

Orga and Clotho grinned evilly.

"I'll crush you," Orga growled.

"You won't get away," Clotho snickered.

Rin couldn't help but grin with the anticipation of finally getting rid of them.

"Well, then, let's bring it on," she said calmly, and they launched at each other for one decisive battle.


	20. Chapter 20

Yay, I got five reviews really really quickly this time! That's good. So here's the next chappie.

Thank yous:  
Merffles: Actually I haven't been thinking about a sequel...the thought never even crossed my mind, heh.  
asucagainluv: I didn't update cuz I didn't have five reviews yet, but you reviewed so that was good!  
RainPure and Spellcasterz: Yeah, she recovered fast...that's the problem. hint, hint The results of the battle are in this chappie!  
ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice: We'll see what happens when it happens...something tells me I'm going to be doing a lot of acting on instinct from here on out... Why am I rambling?

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed, just Rin and the Harmony. Five reviews till I update please!

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY – THE FINAL STAGE PART 2

It was all over for one of them in a single swift stroke of a beam sabre. When Rin looked back after hearing the satisfactory explosion that told her she had succeeded, she realized that it was Orga who had perished, for the Calamity was nowhere to be seen and the Raider was still there. She had received a minor scratch on her machine, but nothing to worry about.

"Another one bites the dust," she teased, just to get Clotho pumped. Not that she took pride in all of this killing – she did it because it had to be done. And not that killing was a good choice, but Kira had said something to her and Athrun once, something that really made sense as to why sometimes they had no choice but to fight: in order to protect.

"Rin, I'll kill you!" Clotho roared, charging her with his chain. Rin caught it before the spike at the end could hit her and twirled it back at him. It hit the Raider dead-on in the stomach, and it lost its orientation for a moment. Then she seized her opportunity and zoomed up-close to kick him.

"Why did you ever agree to serve Azrael?" Rin demanded, kicking him once more before he could recover. "Why would you even want to?" She quickly fired a beam, blasting one of the feet in light of its current low defence, mainly due to Clotho's lack of control.

Clotho suddenly regained control of his machine and fired a beam from the belly of the Raider, hitting the Harmony dead-on in the shield – she'd been able to bring it up just in time.

_That was close,_ she thought with a little pant. _Too close for comfort. He almost got me there._

"You wanna know why?" he demanded loudly, and suddenly he was laughing – laughing as if he was having the time of his life. Rin stared at him with wide eyes. "Because it's just like a video game, that's why!"

Those last words caught Rin completely off guard, and before she could react, Clotho took advantage ofthis cease-fireand kneed her hard and fired a beam right after without waiting for a reaction, blowing off the left leg of the Harmony.

"Video games are my hobby," Clotho continued, still laughing manically. And by the time he would finish his sentence, his voice would have risen to a high-pitched hysteric. "I never lose. So there's no way I can lose here! I fight to win! And I always win!"

Rin could not believe what she was hearing. Was Clotho really that naïve? "Don't you realize that your life is on the line here?" she yelled, promptly screaming again when Clotho kicked her, sending the Harmony flying backwards.

"Mine isn't!" Clotho stated, firing a beam at her control booth. She quickly brought up her shield and took the blow. A fragment ofthe shield wasblasted off. "Only the people who I'm fighting!"

"Are you really that stupid?" Rin argued back, unable to believe what he was saying. It was impossible. It couldn't be!"What if, while the two of us were fighting, someone hit you from behind and destroyed you?"

Clotho stopped laughing long enough to gasp. Then he regained his composure, but this time, he fought in a mad rage, completely lost to the world and all hopes of civilized communication.

"That'll never happen to me!" he roared. "Never!"

Rin knew instantly what was wrong with the way he was fighting as he charged her. He tried viciously to kill her, firing beams at every second and launching his chain over and over again and firing missiles whenever he could. It was all too easy to predict. He would run out of power soon, and his machine was being pushed so hard that it could deteriorate from the inside out. Rin had never actually heard of an instance when that happened, but she knew, what with the technology of mobile suits, that it could actually happen - the only reason it hadn't before was because no one was stupid enough to push their machine so hard.

In that moment when she realized what would happen, Rin realized that she didn't want to kill Clotho. She had never really wanted to. He was still a teenager. He knew fear now, but he was trying to put it all aside, which was what caused his crazy behaviour. He didn't want to die. He was trying with all his might to stay alive. He was _desperate_.

"Clotho, stop fighting!" Rin ordered, dodging Clotho's assaults but never retaliating. "I don't want to kill you. I won't fight against you if you surrender. I'll even take you to the Eternal. They got the drug out of my system. They can do it to you, too! You won't be bound to Azrael any longer!"

"_No_!" Clotho screeched. "You're lying! You're lying! You're gonna try and kill me! Traitor!"

"No, I'm not!" Rin tried to tell him, and she could feel tears of pity coming down. "Clotho, I want to help you! Let me help you and everything will be okay!"

"You're lying! I'll never quite until I win!" Then the legs of the Raider blasted off from the inside, causing Clotho to lose it even more and fight even harder. He smashed off the remainder of the Harmony's legs. "You're trying to kill me!" he yelled as one of his arms blasted off.

"_NO_!" cried Rin, struggling to maintain control of her beaten machine, but things were not looking good. Too much damage and she would lose control completely. "Clotho, you're the one destroying yourself! You have to stop it now or you'll die! Please, just listen to me!"

But Clotho just wouldn't listen. "Now you die!" he screamed, and fired a large super-charged beam straight at her.

Rin hurried with the controls, but her machine was in such bad shape that it didn't have the speed to match her fingers along the controls and dodge in time. She looked on in terror at the beam coming her way, her heart caught up in her throat.

"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

But the blow never hit. Rin looked to see a familiar mobile suit in front of her, having just blocked the beam with its shield.

The Duel.

Yzak!

"Yzak?" she asked incredulously, not believing what she was seeing.

"Hmph," he answered, and she recognized his voice right away. "Now help me take this guy!"

Yzak charged for Clotho.

"No, wait!" Rin cried instantly, trying to move her machine forwards in protest. "He's innocent. Don't kill him!"

Yzak didn't even stop, just fired at Clotho, who fired back, and their attacks met in the middle, triggering an explosion.

"Why shouldn't I kill him?" Yzak demanded angrily, as if she had lost her mind. "He's trying to kill us!"

"He doesn't realize what he's doing!" Rin tried to explain. "Just capture him and take him to the Eternal instead!"

Clotho fired an enormous beam, blasting the shoulder of the Duel, and the arms of the Raider promptly blew up. He screamed.

"What is he doing?" Yzak asked incredulously, ceasing fire for the moment.

"He's going to blow himself up!" Rin yelled desperately. "You have to help him!" She focused on Clotho. "Clotho, please stop fighting. Let us help you! Trust me!"

But Clotho had lost all hopes of control of his machine. With a giant shriek, he firedone lastbeam and his machine exploded.

"Clotho!" Rin cried out, but she knew it was too late for her to do anything. It had always been too late to help him.

Yzak shook his head. "Crazy," he muttered.

"I know," Rin said sadly, but she shook herself over surprisingly quickly. "Hey, thanks for the help, Yzak."

"Yzak! Rin!" came an exhausted cry through the communicator. Yzak and Rin turned to see the Buster headed their way, severely damaged. The phase shift armor was down, its legs had been blasted off along with an arm and part of the opposite shoulder, and the head was gone.

"Dearka!" Yzak cried out in shock.

Rin was shocked as well. "Dearka!" she exclaimed. "What happened to you? Who did that to you?"

"I don't know," Dearka replied, moving slowly towards them – his machine was completely out of steam. "I've never seen it before. It was…" but he couldn't continue. Rin saw on the screen that he had a terrible wound to his head, and he was bleeding.

Rin knew what had to be done. "Yzak, take Dearka to the Archangel for medical assistance. I'm going to find that mystery machine."

"No way!" Yzak argued. "You take him back. Your machine needs to be repaired more than mine does. I'll take on that guy."

"Just listen to me!" Rin ordered sharply, and took off, leaving Yzak with no choice on the matter.

As she flew, her hands darted across the Harmony's keyboard. She had to preserve as much as her machine as she could. It had already sustained enough damage. But half of it was easily fixable. She had to fix as much of it as she could, or –

"Rin, get out of the way!" yelled Mu's easily recognizable voice, but Rin had no time to register the urgency of it.

Rin looked just in time to see a large beam headed straight for her. With barely any time to react, she flipped to the side, justmissing it by inches. She looked to see where it had come from.

The Dominion!

She quickly looked to see where it was aiming. Her heart lurched.

The Archangel!

"NO!" she cried, and then the beam exploded. Rin zoomed in on her screen to see why it had stopped before hitting the Archangel.

There was a machine there, trying to block the beam. Rin was able to identify it just before it exploded.

The Strike.

Mu.

The first Archangel member Rin had ever met. He had been very kind to her, as well. She liked him very much.

And now he was gone. All because of –

"AZRAEL!" Rin raged. Instantly she readied her strongest beam, and fired, at the same time the Archangel did.

The Dominion was destroyed in an enormous explosion and blasts of light.

"That was for all the trouble you put me through," Rin muttered, tears leaking down because she had lost a comrade. Her vision swayed a little, but not because of the tears.

Then another thought struck her. Where was that mystery machine Dearka spoke of? She had to find it!

As she zoomed away from the Archangel, she saw that Yzak was close behind her, bringing Dearka to safety. _Good,_ she thought, and continued on, closer towards the PLANTS.

It was there that she ran into Athrun and Cagalli piloting the Strike Rouge.

"Rin!" exclaimed Cagalli.

"Are you okay?" asked Athrun, noting the damage to her machine immediately.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she muttered. She asked them about the mystery machine, but none of them had seen it.

Athrun briefed her on more of the details. The Kusanagi and the Eternal had used all of their strength trying to destroy GENESIS, but it had not worked. "We're going to get it from the inside out," he explained.

Rin instantly put the mystery machine aside. "Right, I'm coming too."

And the three of them set out for Jachin Due. Rin's heart was filled with hope. If they could get rid of GENESIS, then the war would be over.

And no one else would die.

She was too anxious of what was to come to notice that her vision had blurred at the edges.


	21. Chapter 21

Hey, guess what guys? This is the last chapter of my series (and it's a long one, too!). Yes, it's just about at the end…but I have 91 reviews right now. Once I hit the number 100, with everyone's opinions and everything, I'll post an epilogue. So review! And I hope you've enjoyed this series!

Thank yous:

RainPure: The mystery machine is indeed Rau Le Creuset's. Though he wasn't important in my fic, he was in the original series, and I'm basing this on that. 

Merffles: Am I building for a tragic ending? Geez, we'll see, won't we? .

Spellcasterz: In the series, the mystery machine is that of Le Creuset. And I'm mostly following the idea from the series. Yzak fights for ZAFT, but because Athrun and Kira (and Dearka) helped save the PLANTS, he in turn helps them.

Bahamut: I was actually trying not to make Kira too OOC, but oh well. Thanks for reviewing!

Happily Ever After: I still don't know who she'll go with. I'll figure it out in the epilogue (once I get 100 reviews!)

cynical.life: Thanks Chrissy-poo!

ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice: Glad you liked the chapter! Hope you really like this one!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Seed, nor most of the plot, just what happens because Rin has been added to the mix, as I've said before. Hope you all enjoy! I need 9 reviews people before the epilogue!

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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: THE FINAL STAGE PART THREE 

Getting into Jachin Due was no difficult task. A few ZAFT soldiers here and there, but nothing serious. When they docked and exited their mobile suits and took guns with them, that was when Rin's heart started to pound. She'd done tons of target training before becoming a mobile suit pilot. This kind of stuff excited her. And it was dangerous, which only enhanced the thrill.

A group of soldiers guarded the entrance to the base. They gave a start when Athrun, Cagalli, and Rin rounded the corner and faced them. Rin jumped too – she hadn't expected it, considering the pitiable defences outside the base in space.

"Shoot, now!" their commander ordered, breaking the split-second silence.

"Watch out!" Athrun yelled, diving to push Cagalli out of the way and behind the corner from which they came. Rin kept shooting to give them time, dodging shots all the same. With some quickly aimed rapid fire, three enemy soldiers went down, the commander being one of them. Then Athrun threw a smoke bomb at them as Rin fired the last of her shots, killing the rest of the guards, and they were able to keep moving past them. She reloaded her gun as they turned another corner and stopped to take a quick break.

"Good job covering us, Rin," Athrun said, slouching down against the wall, his hands on his knees.

Cagalli, who was sitting on the ground, was also impressed. "I wouldn't have expected it from you, but I guess I should have known," she said with a grin. After all, Rin was only fourteen, and to be able to focus so well in the military and kill so many with such precision was an amazing feat for someone her age.

"Thanks, Athrun, Cagalli," she replied with a wide grin. To be praised like that always pleased her. Of course everyone enjoyed praise, but for Rin, it was like an acknowledgement of her abilities, which was what she had always strived her. After all, Nicol had always come out before her. But now she was recognized, and it made her happy (not that she was happy to get her chance once Nicol had died, of course).

Up ahead, the doors awaited them, and once through, they'd be inside the control center, filled with ZAFT experts. The chances were high that they'd have to fight them, because three teens seizing a room filled with dozens of adult regulars in the military isn't just a simple task. They finished their break and stepped lightly and slowly to the door, so not as to attract attention. Just one more obstacle to climb, and victory would be theirs.

They were right in front of the door when suddenly, Rin's legs gave way from beneath her and she crashed to the floor.

"Rin, are you okay?" asked Athrun, alarmed.

Cagalli hurried over to help her up. "What happened?" she asked, worried.

Rin swore inwardly for being clumsy, and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I tripped," she muttered, her smile fading as she spoke because of the embarrassment. She felt her cheeks heating up.

Athrun waved it off. "As long as you're not hurt, everything's fine," he said, and then his tone changed when he spoke again: "But now we have to be serious. This is it, guys." He placed a hand on the door.

Cagalli's face was all seriousness and determination. Rin, too, forgot her embarrassment and the blush on her face was replaced with a look similar to Cagalli's. The two girls looked at each other, then at Athrun. They all nodded simultaneously. Athrun bent the handle.

A gunshot rang out as he opened the door, and the three of them stepped inside and gasped.

The easily recognizable chairman of the PLANTS, Patrick Zala, floated in the space-like air, a bullet wound straight in the heart. The face that had appeared on so many TV screens, making important and inspiring speeches on behalf of the PLANTS Supreme Council was motionless, the small eyes wide with shock, his mouth slightly agape, unmoving. Athrun's father was dead.

There was no need for a fight, and the idea didn't even cross anyone's minds as they stared in awe at the chairman who had actually been shot by one of his own men. Everyone in the control room fled anyway.

Athrun rushed forwards with a cry. Cagalli lagged behind, staring. Rin realized that she didn't see the resemblance (it wasn't really visible anyways) and whispered to her, "It's the chairman of the PLANTS, Patrick Zala…his dad."

Cagalli's eyes widened in shock, and the two girls ran after him.

Athrun went straight to his father, but it was too late to do anything. The three of them knew that he was already dead. As Athrun brought the floating body down to the floor, Rin went up to him and hugged him as a few tears came down his cheeks, but she was crying even more than he was.

"I'm sorry, Athrun," she sobbed. "But please, don't cry…"

Athrun looked at her in surprise, and his tears froze on his cheeks.

"You're the one who needs to stop GENESIS now," she explained with a hiccough. "You need to be strong. And I…I know what it's like to lose a family member…so I'll cry for you…" And she stopped talking all together and just cried. She'd encountered so many deaths in this terrible war, and now she was weeping for all of them: Nicol, Clotho, Orga, Shani, Mu, Chairman Zala, everyone. She hadn't allowed herself to get overemotional for most of them, because she hadn't had the time, but the emotion welled up inside of her was so great that it just burst, and it felt like a great weight was lifting off her shoulders as she cried it all out.

Cagalli went over to her and put a gentle hand on her shoulders. Rin managed a watery smile, and Athrun stood up, shook himself over, and marched over to the computer. Rin got herself to stop sobbing loudly and listened to the sound of Athrun's fingers racing madly across one of the keyboards. Then she heard a slam, and looked up in surprise, her tear-stained face free of any new ones.

"What is it, Athrun?" she asked, her voice still trembling slightly from having just been crying. The look on his face told her instantly that something was terribly wrong, which only made her even more upset.

"They've programmed Jachin Due to self-destruct, and when it does, it will trigger GENESIS," Athrun explained angrily. "It's too late to stop it now. Damn!" He punched the keyboard again in his outburst.

Rin punched the floor in anger. Athrun was right. Nothing would stop the nuclear power of GENESIS except for nuclear power itself, but that was impossible…or was it?

"I've got it!" she exclaimed. Athrun and Cagalli were instantly all ears. "A nuclear explosion can destroy it," she began to explain, and her face slowly dropped as she realized the lameness of her finish, "if we only had the nuclear power to create one."

Cagalli's face dropped as well, and Athrun's did too, but only for a moment, for then he was deep in thought. "We do!" he exclaimed, perking up suddenly, and he bolted out the door. Rin and Cagalli exchanged bewildered glances, and then quickly followed suit.

"Athrun," Rin began, "I don't under–"

"Not now," he ordered in a commanding voice, and so Rin had no choice but to follow quickly and in silence. He ended up leading them back to the mobile suit docking point where they had left theirs, and ascended towards the Justice.

"What are you planning, Athrun?" Cagalli asked as she boarded the Strike Rouge and Rin boarded the Harmony.

"You'll see," was his only reply.

Rin was about to pester him again when she felt a jolt seep through her body. And instantly she knew what it was. That feeling when there was great danger in a battle… Not that every battle wasn't dangerous – but when there seemed to be more danger to her life than usual, she'd feel it. Although the last times she felt that way, her emotions got in her way…but not now. Her mind was miraculously clear, and she felt that she had to see what was going on outside Jachin Due.

"Cagalli," she said, calm but urgent at the same time.

"Yeah?" came the worried reply. Cagalli could sense in her voice that something was wrong.

"Look after Athrun," she told her. "I have to check something out."

Cagalli looked surprised. "But what are you –"

"Just listen, okay?" Rin said impatiently. Then she added, more calmly, "Please. Don't let him die."

Cagalli had to grin at that comment. "I'd never let that happen." And they took off on separate paths, Cagalli and Athrun deeper into the control facilities, and Rin towards the outer space. She wondered vaguely what Athrun was up to, but she was mainly focused on something up ahead.

Once out, Rin located the source of the problem immediately. Kira was fighting a strange mobile suit – one she'd never seen before. She floated in space, unnoticed by anyone, transfixed on the sight before her. The machine was incredibly strong, with multiple attack techniques she'd never seen before. It was all Kira could do to keep from being hit – that's how strong the fighter was. No one could best Kira like that. Yet here was this thing that clearly had the advantage, this mystery machine…

_Mystery machine!_ Everything clicked in her head. _The one that injured Dearka!_

Rin had had enough sitting around. She zoomed into the fight, filled with a determination to win.

As she drew closer, flashes of everything that had happened since Nicol's death flowed through her mind. Learning his piano pieces, meeting Athrun, fighting Kira, talking with the reverend Malkio, fighting to protect Orb, fighting alongside Kira, playing piano in front of Athrun, getting captured by Azrael, Kira and Athrun's attempts to save her…all had brought her to this point in time and space. This was what she had strived for. And she had with her the powers of the SEED. She realized that now. She knew that she could awaken these powers without worry of hurting someone dear to her again. Things felt different now. She knew she could do it. And now was the time!

She unleashed the SEED, and fought. As she fired relentlessly at the machine, through the communicator, she spoke to Kira. "I know we've had our differences, Kira, but that's in the past. I'm sorry for the mean things I said to you…and thanks for everything you and Athrun have done for me."

Kira was surprised with her behaviour. "Rin?" he asked in a disbelieving, unsure voice, as he continued to fire at the machine as well.

Rin smiled at him. "I'm serious," she said. "And now I really should repay you for your troubles. So here I am!"

Kira paused for a moment, then grinned. "Right," he said. "Sorry I doubted you."

"You had every reason to," Rin assured him. Then her smile left her face, and she turned to focus on the task at hand.

Kira nodded, his amethyst eyes full of determination. "Let's go!" he cried.

He and Rin threw some rapid fire at the mystery machine, but it dodged every single attempt. Then it fired six missiles at Rin. Rin dodged them easily.

"Rin, look out!" Kira warned urgently, firing at the missiles.

From the missiles emerged many beams of intense green light, threatening to trap her mobile suit in a cage of dangerous beams. Alarmed, Rin tried to dodge the beams and relied on Kira to help destroy them. However, with her machine in such terrible condition already didn't help, because without legs, her speed was limited. Her machine's left arm was blasted off, and she screamed.

"Rin!" Kira cried out, and with a newfound strength, he fought viciously against the machine, covering for Rin.

Alerts blared in her machine and she tried hurriedly to fix everything, but halfway through most of her controls froze and broke down completely. "Argh, damn it!" she exclaimed furiously, pounding the keyboard angrily when it, too, stopped working.

"Rin!" Kira yelled at her as he fought on, though at a disadvantage. "Get back to the Eternal for repairs!"

"No!" Rin protested, knowing full well that she was now being incredibly stupid.

"Rin!" Kira argued in such a stern voice that she was momentarily stunned. "If you keep fighting here, you're going to get killed! Don't do this to yourself! You've already come close enough to death and you don't deserve to get that close again! Not at your age now! Maybe when you're old, when you're a grandmother of lots of kids or something like that – but not know! Don't throw your life away just for your pride! Don't throw away the life Athrun gave you!"

Those words hit Rin, and they hit her hard. As cold as they were, there was only goodness and in them. Kira wasn't being mean; he only meant well. After all of their differences, he cared for her, just as Athrun did. If she died know, Athrun would be devastated – and Kira too.

"He's right," Rin said softly to herself, almost in awe, as Kira fought on, gaining the upper hand and then losing it again. "I can't throw my life away now. I have to get back…to the Eternal..."

She tried to locate the ship of the pink princess, but with her machine beaten so badly, it was impossible. There weren't anyone else in sight besides the mystery machine and Kira. If she wandered now…

"No," she breathed, and the realization hit her hard. Then suddenly everything around her was spinning wildly, but her machine wasn't moving. She gasped, bringing her hands to her ears in an attempt to stop the ringing in her ears, but it didn't work. She squeezed her eyes shut and her stomach turned to ice. A panic seized her as she gasped for breath. What was wrong?

"Rin!" Kira yelled urgently, alarmed. "What's wrong, Rin? Answer me! Argh!" And he had no time to concentrate on her, for the mystery machine was right on top of him.

But Rin knew what was wrong. _Athrun had been right in worrying about me_, she realized with a wistful smile. _He was right…I'm not recovered from my operation yet._

She opened her eyes, making her even more dizzy, and she struggled not to vomit. Her vision swam before her, but she could dimly make out the movements of the Freedom and the mystery machine. Kira was losing. No doubt he would run out of power soon. The end was drawing near. And if Rin tried to wander and find an allied ship, in her and her machine's condition, she could end up wandering for hours, or even forever. But, if she could hang on long enough to defeat the mystery machine, Kira would be able to bring her back. Help was far; victory was close. She just had to hold on a bit longer.

Through her swimming vision, she saw the target ahead of her, and knew that she could take it by surprise since it was so wrapped up in its fight with Kira. She charged forwards, oblivious to Kira's cry of surprise and protest. Then, with the last of her strength, with her last remaining arm, she took out her beam sabre and got the machine straight in the control booth. She had done it!

The machine cackled with sparks that indicated the dawning explosion. And it was the last of Rin's machine, too, as the alert blared even more urgently than before. Everything around her began to go up in sparks. She thought she heard Kira yell her name, but the communicator was destroyed.

Vaguely, she thought of escape, and through her fading-to-black vision she fumbled with the eject button, knowing full well that it was too late and that there was no more eject button. Her vision blackened as everything around her exploded, and she was filled with one last thought:

_Athrun… _

_Kira…_

_I'm sorry, you two…_

_I'm sorry, everybody…_

_But I did it…_

Then her vision turned lighter and lighter into shades of grey, getting lighter and lighter.

_Nicol…I'm going to see you again…for real this time…_

_Nicol…_

And everything went white.


	22. Epilogue

I did it! I've reached the big 100! I'm so proud of myself for this series, you have no idea... Anyways, I'm not going to make any replies to reviewers here because after all that, I'm still lazy, but as long as you guys get the story, you're happy...right? But I would like to say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who supported me throughout the making of this fic - whether you reviewed once or at every chappie (actually no one did that, heh) - you are the best, you are what made writing this possible, and so much fun too! I love you all! Okay, now I'm getting sappy. Anyways, here is the much-anticipated epilogue, and as for sequel series, well, I am currently working on another fic right now, so it is possible that I might make a sequel another time, later. If you have ideas for a sequel, say so in review, not email. And as a disclaimer, I don't own Gundam Seed. Once again, thanks so so much, and without furthur ado, I present to you Never Had The Chance - The Epilogue!

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EPILOGUE: THE STARS OF A PURE WORLD

_Ah…so this is what heaven is like, isn't it? Nicol, are you here too? I can hear your piano playing. Oh, Nicol, there you are! It…it really is you! Oh, Nicol, I've missed you so much! Hey, you're glowing! Why are you glowing, brother?_

Nicol stood up from his seat on the handsome black piano and took a step downwards, down a white staircase in a background of white, towards her, shining as though he were the light at the end of a tunnel. He smiled gently at her, and her heart melted with joy.

He looked at his glowing hands, smiling still. Then he looked back towards her, stepping down the stairs. "I'm not quite sure why," he said slowly. Rin noted that there were still many steps to go, but she couldn't climb up to speed up the process. Her body wasn't moving. "I think it's because I've made it to heaven."

_Oh._ She looked around. There was no one else there. The only things that weren't white were her, Nicol (though he was glowing so brightly it nearly blinded her), and the beautiful black piano. She was aware of her own body, still in her ZAFT mobile suit uniform, but it was all in tatters. She couldn't move her mouth to speak, but her thoughts seemed to echo aloud for Nicol to hear. _Hey, Nicol, why aren't I glowing?_

Nicol laughed lightly, his laugh like a gentle tinkling bell. "That doesn't matter, Rin." Finally at the bottom of the stairs with her, he reached out, and Rin felt his gentle hands upon hers, warming her. As warmth returned to her body, she realized that she was able to move.

As soon as the realization hit her, she flung herself onto her brother, squeezing him tightly and letting the warmth encage her. "Oh, Nicol, I've missed you so much."

Nicol patted her on the head and ruffled her hair with a warm tenderness. "I know," he said softly.

"And I'm sorry…for everything I've ever said to you…"

Nicol nodded, still caressing her head. "Don't worry about that now, Rin. I've forgiven you a long, long time ago. But that's all behind us now. We can stay together forever now."

Rin closed her eyes, and rested her head against Nicol's shoulder, content. "I'd like that," she murmured as Nicol continued to stroke her.

Then, as though she'd been splashed by a cold bucket of water, she jerked upright, her eyes wide. "Nicol!" she cried. "The war – Kira and Athrun – are they all right?"

Nicol nodded, though his face was grave. "They're both perfectly healthy. They won the war. Soon after the fight, a truce was called."

Rin smiled in relief, but noted the look on her brother's face. "And?"

Nicol managed a sad smile. "They miss you," he said simply.

Rin felt it at that moment – a terrible pang of sorrow and longing. "But, Nicol, I'm dead now, aren't I? I'm with you again – I can't go back to them – not that I want to –"

Nicol squeezed her hands, but in a sympathetic way. "No need to hide it from me, Rin," he said calmly and kindly, smiling. "I know you miss them too. You want to stay alive for a while longer. And to tell you the truth –" he broke off and looked away "– they need you more than I do right now."

Rin stared, thoughts racing through her mind. "But – Nicol –" she gasped.

"You're not gone yet," he explained. "There's still time for you to return to the world of the living. I think you should go."

He stepped backwards, back up the stairs, glowing even more brightly than before. Rin tried desperately to reach out for him, but found that she could no longer move or speak.

But – I want to be with you, too – 

"You will join me here someday," Nicol assured her with a smile. "Now's not your time. Don't be sad, Rin. I will always be with you, in your thoughts and in your dreams. Keep living a while longer, okay, sis? Live and be happy. And when the time is right, then you'll join me for good, and we'll never part again."

She couldn't do anything anymore, but somehow there were tears coming down her cheeks. Nicol was fading away from her once more, but this time, it was different. She wasn't filled with sorrow. She was filled with hope. And Nicol grew farther and farther away, glowing so brightly that everything around her blanked out, but not before she could make out his gentle smile one last time.

When her vision cleared, she was conscious of the feeling in her body. She could blink and wiggle her toes again. She was alive again.

Someone's hand was upon hers. Rin blinked again, then slowly sat up. Athrun was sitting at her bedside, his head down. Kira was standing in the opposite corner. Athrun's body was shaking, but she couldn't see his expression. Kira gave a start when he heard her move, and stared. His face went from a mixture of sadness to shock to delight.

"Athrun!" he exclaimed. "She's – she's alive!"

Athrun's head jerked up, and Rin saw that it was stained with tears. His eyes didn't widen in shock when he saw her. They simply grew larger as they filled with tears once more. And then he was hugging her, sobbing, and Kira was at her side as well, smiling gratefully, with a hand on her shoulder. The emotion caught in her as well, and soon Rin was crying too, hugging both of them tightly. She was alive again. She was safe, and the world was at peace. Best of all, she was with two of the three most special people in her life. The third was Nicol. But she knew she would be reunited with him again later.

Rin looked out the window of the Eternal, still in the warm embrace of Athrun and Kira, and noted how brightly the stars were shining in space. One of them stood out more than the rest, shining so brightly that it threatened to blind her. She smiled, knowing exactly who that star belonged to, and what it meant.

Kira and Athrun were both with her, Nicol was watching over her, and the world was at peace.

No ending could be more perfect.

And her brother's star continued to shine.

* * *

The end! I hope you've all enjoyed this! I know that I never clarified who Rin really likes, but I admit I don't want to chose between one and the other just yet! Once again, thank you, and I hope that one day I'll write a sequel and you will continue to support me once more! Bye!


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